Boring, limiting rules

I want to write something today. Something that is not work.
When it is work, a string will be tied, inside your head, with rules hanging from it. Rule 1, don’t use this word. Rule 2, you can’t start it like that.
Rules are always, without exception, boring. Limiting. Why not leave a line hanging. Why not a word in the middle of your text if it could convey much more than a paragraph of sentences.
Journalism, that’s why. It is not literary, not expected to be, not always. You can stretch a wee bit using the feature tag. Even that will go through knives, sharper than the ones in your kitchen. By the time they are done, there will be little left of what you started with. As long as you aren’t doing the cooking yourself, you are not going to like the recipe. Or if you like it, you are not going to own it. Someone else’s curry. Someone else’s nice curry made from a few ingredients you began with. 

Resigning as a daily blogger.

I have sad news to make. I am resigning. As a daily blogger. All attempts to write daily have been failing. Cause 1, I run out of ideas, 2, I had a weird realization that writing when you don’t have ideas could be bad, and 3, I cant keep track of time – I forget that daily is daily and not 3 days later.

There is a fourth very important reason. I started to churn out absolute rot. Look for instance what I thought I will paste here one day –

“Some people think writing is an easy job. That all you need to do is to open a Word document and stare at it and words would fall down from the sky, well, or the roof. And when that does not happen they look up at the roof and decide its having a bad day. Not your fault, cause you did your job. You were the Good Samaritan who took the trouble of staring into a blank page. What could you do if creativity didn’t find its way from all the way above to come and hit your head?

Some people became some more people today. I joined them.”

Seeing that was what made me reach for my retirement papers. Yes yes, there is probably an age limit for daily bloggers. Those old bloggers who write daily, am sure are working illegally. Moreover I started showing womanly qualities – the biggest being I detest being called a woman, I prefer girl. I know at 25, a girl is not a girl but a girl is a [gulp] woman. Britney spears when she sang she was not a girl or a woman was not 25, she was 18. And when a woman starts being a woman, you have to quit. Cause your daily entries will have an inclination to be hmm, womanly.

But not to worry, it is just a phase. Cause women, I have noticed, exist. This wouldn’t have been possible if every time they heard someone call them women they went to jump into the sea and say goodbye cruel world. They get over the phase and continue to live, probably with heavily broken hearts. I mean they completely take it to their head the rest of the world is going to look at their face and say “She’s a woman”. Although nobody knows why that needs pointing out, there you have it – the world will always tell you things you don’t need telling. If it weren’t for them, I’d have grown up into a 100 year old girl in a matter of years. Hmph.

So, children, readers, audience, adieu.
Disclaimer: this is only official, and like every official deal, it has every intention of being unofficial and I’ll join them illegal old writers.

A wedding, hmm, again

Egad third in the wedding series, I realize – this being first and this, second. So proceeding with the typical beginning – I have been to a wedding the other day. Being a hartal[strike], I walked. Oh I had company. In the form of an 80 year old. My Grandma. Now that I remember, she was walking too as a matter of fact. And since the two of us were headed for the same destination, you know the wedding place, we decided to walk together. And thus started our 3-hour long vacation trip.

It was supposed to be a celebrity packed wedding. And I estimated right. Of course I had a good heart and people with good hearts, went for weddings. Volunteering to accompany the poor old girl was of course my primary intention…. BEEP! [Lie detected]. I should change blogs, this one keeps shouting back! Can’t a girl have some solitude around here?

Going back to my story, err forget about primary intentions. Lets talk about other things. Ok, so the prospect of watching a few popular people may have interested me a little [BEEP], ok a lot [BEEP], ok it was all I had in mind! There, you happy?!
I wasn’t let down there. Celebrities came in the form of the groom himself for one. Vidhu Prathap. His singer friends made the guests. I was about to witness a new addition in my daily activities. Seeing Yesudas. For the second consecutive day, the great man was standing inches before me. His son another inch away. Vineeth, the actor who danced was closer. Unfortunately celebrities suffered a major drawback. They failed to notice extremely important human entities, namely me.

So all the ogl… I mean observations had to be one-way transactions. Oh by the way, other things too happened there, you know, like a wedding for one. Luckily, they make it easy to identify bride and groom in a wedding. Like this Mallu blogger wrote, if you saw a lot of gold that moves, don’t bother to find a human behind it, be assured it’s your bride. Groom is not always easy to find especially when he wasn’t a Vidhu Prathap. You have to depend on your intuitional skills there. If you are in the habit of making sixth sense predictions come true, that will come handy here.

And then of course photos. A fellow blogger had done a good job of it the other day. So am not going into details here. Except, us good-looking guests have a tough time avoiding these guys [BEEP] [BEEP] [BEEP]. Alright, alright!!!

A place where a queue system or any other system except mob stampede has failed is what you call a “Kalayana Sadhya” [wedding banquet] in Malayalam. You push a few here, you stamp a few there, you somersault over a few others, and you are a winner. I hear underground-entrances and helicopter dropping are expected to evolve as the new strategies for Sadya survival. Whew, no beeps! Maybe it is true!

And like yet another blogger had mentioned [seems weddings are the in things], a wedding is always a place to perfect your silly face expressions. You will meet hundred and one people you have no clue of and be asked to remember who they were. Of course, you saw them just a couple of decades back when you were a toddler. There is no question of forgetting.

But what am I complaining for. Yesudas, Chithra [that was another dream come true], the others, the 2 bolis (yellow things they serve for Sadya) made my day. And maybe one day, 20 years later I will go ask a girl if she remembered me picking her up as a baby, and she will groan and emit a 100-watt smile and then I will hear all those hundred and one clueless people grab my conscience to say “Now you know!”

Aaachoo. I hab goth Ze-Gold.

Aa Aa Aaachoo. I have got it. The dangerous Ze-Gold. Predicting the recent future to be drowned mercilessly in fever. Cant believe less than 24 hours ago, I was a healthy human. Health seems like an unattainable state. Maybe there is something like that somewhere in this world. Maybe in Neptune. I have decided to start a quest to discover it. Hmm but do I really want it?

For those rare species who are unfamiliar with this terminology, let me explain the symptoms. So when you get it you can call it affectionately “oh dear unhealth”. It comes with a lot of smoke that it generously pours over your eyes, a lot of bad taste for your tongue, an excessive lot of liquid for your nose. See, an outpour of gifts and how ungrateful are we humans! Want it or not, it is all going to be yours one hundred percent. And what do we do? Curse, crib and collaborate (ok that doesn’t make sense, but I had to get a c-word there, you know, to rhyme.)

There are peace lovers in this world who are cruelly cast off as lazy-bones. All those poor souls want is not disturb the air around them by attempting any kind of movement. Let all the nitrogen and oxygen move in peace, why scare them? And for that, just for that, they have to settle doing nothing all day. We, ahem, I mean the peace lovers are in favor of Ze-Gold. They welcome it, they caress it, they nurse it and they keep it safe. They even refuse to extravagantly spend money on them murderer medicines.

Then there is another category that swears and mourns and kills the poor Ze-Gold. Those strange incomprehensible creatures called mature adults.

Either way, doctors think it disappears in a matter of days. Hmm doctors, what do they know! Ze-Gold is tricky. In fact it is there all the time hiding behind emm, err… curtains! Oh yes, curtains! Quietly, soundlessly, lurking. And when you are not looking, it springs upon you from behind, cover your eyes and says “Buhahah guess who!”

But as a kind-hearted human being I realize that health cannot exist independently. It needs some human to cling on to. Parasites, that’s what they are. For the sake of poor dear lonely health, I, Ms Cris have taken, though sadly, a fully grown pill called sinarest. Ze-Gold and Health. Have to lose one to keep the other. And though Ze-Gold is a friendly fellow, I think it will do fine behind the curtains. You see they are not parasites. Only problem is I will lose my lovely voice, which has the habit of losing all loveliness when it harbors that parasite called health. Which happens 360 days a year. No offense, I like health. Just like to take little vacations to be by myself sometimes; parasiteless you know. Not the other way around.

Obviously Ze-Gold, also comes with a character-trait. Exaggeration. No medicine is discovered as of now (for this last trait). Psst: Secret, I have no intention to take any, that being the key strength of all bloggers! Aaachoo!

Why I shouldnt write today?

I wanted to make daily blogging a, hmm, daily thing! Unfortunately thoughts just vanish like that sometimes – zap! And when thoughts vanish, words vanish. And writing without words, could be a little difficult. The important thing to know about writing is to know when not to write. Obviously I do not know the important thing!
And hence, I am here.

Hmm so. Hmm. I don’t believe this. Absolute blankness. Could be this new habit I am acquiring. Sleeping early. Waking up early. Somebody who said that line about early to bed, wrote it before meeting me. That’s for sure. And I have been informed that having chosen the profession I have started on, meant I am essentially something – a maverick, or in lighter words, an eccentric. Coming from very high authority, and an experienced and respected person in the field, I accept that wholeheartedly (and admittedly, cheerfully). Hence I will be taking every effort to reestablish my late-hour strolls and early morning slumbers. Emm. Right. From tomorrow. Yawn!

An old trip remembered

In 12th, we were taken to Padmanabhapuram palace from school. My friend GL had blogged about it. She was apparently annoyed by all the noise the girls were making. I don’t think I noticed all that. My primary activity on reaching any old or ancient buildings was to imagine totally insignificant everyday-moments of people all those ages ago.

At one point I’d imagine a girl wearing yellow blouse and dressed like women did in old Ravi Varma paintings , with her hair all lose and a long bindhi, looking out of a window, staring at something I couldn’t see. It was like a movie screen which limited my view of the place, so I could only see the girl and not what she saw. Then there’d be someone who must have walked through these very paths I was taking now, with no purpose at all. I have no idea what kind of excitement I get out of it, but somehow I am always enchanted to hear or think of normal everyday activities of people. So the story of just another day in someone’s life might interest me more than a heroic adventure.

(pic removed temporarily: will be uploaded soon)

For this trip, apparently I missed to join the rest of the group, lost in thought at some point I imagined was a secret hiding place for kids long back. My Physics teacher, who found me there made no secret of her alarm and frustration. Subjected to a non-stop list of words that flew out of an angry teacher’s angry mouth, I was reduced to a frowning face and moody interiors. I decided to avenge by not taking part in the “good” things for the rest of the trip. So I visibly stood away from a waterfall we went to later while the rest of the girls shouted and got wet. I made sure my teacher saw this too. But she didn’t seem to worry about my non-participation while she herself was having a good time in the water.

Dang, I loved playing in water. And now that I have refused all my friends who tried to change my mind, I was left with no option but stay dry and frown more. But finally, a blessed soul decided I was being too difficult and she a little stronger than me, lifted me up and threw me into water. Laughing and thanking her heartily inside my mind, I frowned and expressed indefinite anger outside. And maybe no one noticed I wasn’t going back from the water despite all the vexation I was trying hard to display.

Cinema goers

I went to see a movie today. As it is, I was finding it quite an effort to concentrate on lip movements (as obviously it was a waste of time to make out the actual words when actors chose to breathe louder than they talked). Here comes the deal that brought me to blog today (for of course it takes heavily major deals to bring me to blog!).

How important are blog names and urls? Vewy!

I just realized this. My blog name is not at all attractive! I have been wandering through blogs and whenever I see a blogroll, the first thing that attracts me is a different name or url. And look at mine. Cris’s World?! So some loser called Cris made a blog and called it her world, why in the world would anyone care to see if it was actually a world or was she tricking everyone?
Hmm too late to change my url now. I thought it was bloody wise (sorry about the swearing, but I am feeling a little Englandish today). 4sometime, ahh so brilliant of me, I echoed. And I echoed more. Till someone asked me “Sometime? Just sometime? You mean people get bored and leave in some time?”

I didn’t think she was joking. And then someone else asked me “just sometime? Not forever?”
Oh dang where were all these people when I was domain-name hunting!
So it’s a name change time. Actually it’s a name-change-thinking time. As is all legal matters, this calls for a major delay to give effect. The ‘I will’-‘oh when will you’- ‘I will’-‘ah just do it’-‘I finally did’-silence-‘hullo?’ effect. This is just a well-advanced warning so that one day when it says Buhaha-New-Blog-Name, it should be no surprise. Be assured it is still the very same popular, loved-by-all, admired-by-all Ms Cris underneath the blog. Who else would come up with all these terrific ideas?

Daily blogging: Unwise choice?

Mm been thinking. I am almost a daily blogger. And I have a list of blogs I visit everyday, where I take feed from. Some are more regular, some blog monthly, some once in few months. I find that I am very anxious to visit those rare-blogging people as soon as I see a (1) next to their name. “Boy oh boy he/she has finally written woopee”.

Now it was time to look at my blog from another blog reader’s point of view. He/She, if knew my blog for some time would know about my daily blogging habits. So they’d know they will find something new at the end of each day. Now would they hurry to my blog with the same enthusiasm they do to an occasional blogger’s posts? Call me pessimistic, but I think the answer is no.

It’s the same logic you could use in similar scenarios. Someone gets an email from a friend everyday and then one day there is an email from another friend you haven’t heard from in months. Chances are you’d open this other friend’s email first, maybe more out of curiosity.

Sigh, this, I guess is the whole concept of getting taken for granted. My blog is probably in that list of TFG now! Why do I feel a yawn is what comes to the face when someone considers the aforesaid list! 

Dreaming Calvin

So after years and years of writing, I finally took a break for one whole day 😀
I was just hooked on to this Agatha Christie novel and couldn’t break out of it till I reached the last page.

Anyway, thought I will share a funny dream I had last night. Not so funny now I come to think of it. Depressing infact! I slept reading Calvin and Hobbes last night. So in my dream, Calvin materialized. So did Susie. Sadly, Hobbes was not in the picture. The last strip I read had something about betrayal so in my dream the scenario is Calvin being betrayed by his “girl friend” Susie for some reason. Calvin is angry with her and she runs off sadly. To have ended up being taught trapeze by this guy who used to be in my college. Yup he is big, when compared to 6 year olds. And he watches Susie in the trapeze and thinks “Now here is a nice girl. Why can’t I like her? Instead of falling head over heels for a girl like Cris!”

There you have it! That’s my dream. Calvin’s girl betrays him, and my admirer doesn’t want to admire me! Calvin and Cris, the 2 C-people, are together in the sea of sorrow. Sigh, said I, and sigh, said Calvin. Actually, Calvin just ran off with Hobbes. So right now I am alone in the sea of sorrow. Oh, I see my fancy pal Mr Jim coming.