Class comedies

When I was out looking for some humour to write about, I was tipped that a lot of comedy is found these days in a classroom. Students, they say are good sources of humour. That should be true, I myself hold a record of being those humour sources back in my student days. So here is a couple from one of my own dear students.

It is an English class and we are doing a lesson on vocabulary. We come across the word ‘immortal’. One student, let us call her K, enthusiastically raises her hand. “Yes?” I ask. “It is when a man goes to a lady other than his wife”, she says and beams happily. I stare but another student N is fast. “That is immoral!”

Another occasion, this time, an exam. But K asks me “There is a word embarrassed here. It means kettipidikkuka (to hug) right?”

“That is embraced!!!!”

So there. I am not laughing at K. She is a dear student. And I am worse than her. Today I see a dead cockroach in the office and I tell “marichu poyi” and my colleague finds it amusing. “Chathu” is apparently the right word in Malayalam for saying an animal died. But that is not fair. Death of an animal should not be looked down as an insignificant matter cause it is the death of an animal. I mean death is death. You don’t say in English “A man dies, but a cockroach chies”. It is the same sad feeling for all. The Amma cockroach, the Appa cockroach, the cockroach sahodaranmar and the cockroach sahodarimar would all be a sad lot today. We should respect that!

Just another day

You become invisible and enter a building. You see a girl sitting with a computer. One hand holds a mobile phone, the other touches the keyboard. You reach closer and find 10 different chat windows open. You go further into the building and you find more people doing the same mobile phone – computer exercise. Some screens show games, some, social networking sites. You also find ear phones plugged into most of the ears.

That is when you hear a man’s voice from the next room. He is speaking loudly to someone. You see a blur of activities in the room. The mobile phones are thrown into bags and pockets. The screen magically changes to a white page with a lot of unreadable text they call code. The loud man passes them, and they all bow to him. He catches a glimpse of what they do, and goes to another room.

There is silence for a few minutes. The girl at the front seems to listen carefully. Finally she gives the green signal to her mates “Thumbs up, he is gone.”
The mobile phones and earphones are back; the chat windows and games resume on the screen.

You are in an IT office. The loud man is the boss. CEO, I think they call him there.

Being yourself

A couple of lines that makes me ponder.
Line 1 (from a movie): “I behave the same way at home as I am outside. I speak out all that comes to my mind. I don’t know how to act.”
And I wish I was like that.
Line 2 (from a friend): “You are different in real life than you seem to be in your blog”

And I wonder. Well everybody obviously speaks out what they really think in their blog. That’s the whole purpose of a blog or you don’t have to write at all. So then line 2 establishes that I do not follow line 1. And I think that maybe true. It is for certain when the ‘outside’ means fresh faces and acquaintances. But in a company of intimates and a comfortable zone, I never feel the stress that one feels when one has to follow norms of how to behave or talk. The stress comes with artificiality or the unconscious attempt of trying to appear what is expected of you.

Woah head spins from pondering. But lets see. I hate going to marriages, for social gatherings, most another-house (meaning any house except mine) visits. And my family has long ago written me off as an anti-social, err an introvert. I don’t know how but some people seem to have a gift to behave absolutely wonderfully like they really enjoy it all – whether they really do or not would be hard to guess.

It could be a little hard when your face betrays you and exposes you to the whole world. Traitor face. Always chooses the wrong time to droop just in time for all to spot! But most of the time I stay away from places or people I know “I will have to put an act” with. I just avoid it completely cause the whole prospect of artificiality is a huge pain in the neck. I don’t know why people ever bother to be anything they are not. And if I have got to be in there, I go helplessly tongue-tied and I let myself be so cause that’s the most natural thing to do! And I am at my best when I am natural. Try anything else and it’s a huge huge flop!

That said, even if I behave the same I feel, I don’t like to speak my thoughts all the time. I am sort of possessive about them and the only time I like to take it out lavishly is when I am alone with them or when I write. So now comes the third question (not sure of the number, I haven’t counted). Does not-speaking-all mean you are not being yourself cause you may not in fact want to speak all you think. Some thoughts are not for the world to hear, it is just for you to think of.

So being yourself means talking what you want as opposed to talking all you feel?

Ah I have done it again. I have confused myself. I preach always that you should be yourself 24 * 7. Now I have to start a research on what being yourself means.

Interpretations of love

The Cris School of Relationships has now brought forth before you, dear readers, the different interpretations of that misused word ‘love’.

1. The duty-doers: They understand love as a duty they are to perform towards the people they are expected to. They mostly do it life-long, just as a machine that works as long as it has its batteries charged.

2. The companions: They need someone to take lunch with, go to the mall with and they think they love the people who could accompany them. When it is time to leave the place and find new people for lunching and malling, they fall in love all over again.

3. The crushies: Temporary. Everything is temporary for these fellows. When love strikes, it strikes strong and they think and dream and do all for the loved one every minute of every hour. But ouch, the clock doesn’t stay still and so doesn’t the love.

4. The floaters: They cry for you, they smile for you, but their love only goes this deep. They honestly believe it is strong, but the best they could do is sit and cry as they watch you drown.

5. The buyers: These people think that a certain crow won’t fly above money so that should mean money is love. To them, love means buying gifts and spending money on loved ones. Spending time with them? Nonsense.

6. The mothers: And of course, the creator, they say, could not be everywhere so landed our mothers on earth. People who are mother-like, when they love, they love. Call it a feeling that never goes away, that is always felt wherever you are and whatever you do. It has no definition, it is just there.

Ouch, we reach the magic number, which means it is time to end another lovely chapter in the Cris School.

Theory on relationships

Latest theory formed by the Cris School of Relationships is that everyone who is in a relationship becomes helplessly immature. Study of varied specimen and speciwomen proved that every little thing seems like a volcanic gigantic problem at the time.
Cure: none so far since absence of the above symptom means relationship ceases to exist (or one of them is cheating).

Disclaimer: Theory comes from study/observation of sample pieces and has no direct link to author’s personal life.

Note: The author shall not take any consultations (no bar for consultation/thank-you charges).

Some lazy thoughts…

And… we are back on track.
Decided to spill all those over-worked thinking cells and catch up with the unused lazy ones. Some random lazy thoughts –

A winning lottery ticket flying all the way from the ticket-chettan in front of Kalabhavan, to the keyboard I am typing on now…
Two hot unniyappams from Murali Chettan’s kada near press club growing wings and deciding to find solace in Cris’s mouth…
A deserted Shanghumugham beach replanting itself on my bedroom… all windy and sunsetting …
Some favorite theme songs coming all the way from the sky only for my ears and mind…
Some of the most loved imaginations turning real only for me to feel and know…
All the my-kinda-books lifting itself from shops and libraries to temporarily shift to the beach in my room…
Clouds breaking open to pour cold mango juice into the mouth…

Rest for later… let me enjoy the beauty of these (and test if any of it came true. Where is that fairy godmother of mine??)

[Woah!! This is my 300th published post in this blog. Long live moi blog and moi :p]

Zip it

Today I sat and talked with a girl I usually just say a ‘hi-howdy’ to. Under the street light, we sat on a pavement and talked. I don’t know why we were talking and I don’t remember talking so intensively and deeply to my closer friends in the recent past. But for some reason she was telling me bits and pieces of her life and when she asked me things, I felt no offense. Only problem is I sometimes feel I talked a lot too much later on. I did today too.

I think I have been unknowingly keeping the book called my life closed for some time, except when I am alone. I don’t simply like to talk about my life with anyone. Well of course the obvious and superficial facts are there for all to see. But what goes deep, I just like it to stay deep, I don’t like it coming to the surface. Now is that the right route, I know not. But I like to follow my mind and if my mind chooses to zip itself off from everyone’s reach, I will keep it zipped.

I never believed in the theory “Talk it to out to someone and you will feel all better”. If you need any talking, I say do it with yourself. You are the best listener and keeper of the stories your mind has got to tell. So zip-it, is my rule in life.

Ok we did agree we will write more, but are we going a little too personal here?