“Jimmmmm”, I yelled at my fancy pal Mr Jim when I found him dozing in the middle of my interesting story.
And I got a very reactive reply. “Zzzzzzzzz”
“Well that’s just fine! You can pretend you are asleep but I’m finishing my story anyway”
Knowing he was in for it, Jim rose and said “Oh come on Cris! You know it’s boring!”
“It is not! You are just not using your imagination. Come let me take you to the place of action”
With that, the 2 of us, all enthusiastic and happy… BUZZ [Lie detected]! Ok one of us all enthusiastic and happy and the other literally dragged reached a cark parking zone.
“This is where I use my imagination? In a car park? What do I imagine? Car marriages???”, Jim was loudly reproaching.
“Oh don’t be such a whiner! Let me start all over again”
“Here we go.”
“When it turns dark, and all the cars are left to rest, the cars slowly move out of the car sheds and look up. What do they see?”
“No! The sky! And stars. Unlike humans, cars have a gift. They could extract powers from stars”
“Brilliant. Why wasn’t I born a car?”
“Cut it out Jim. So these cars, they get the power to come alive. Zummmmmmmmmm”
“That’s their power sound?”
“That’s the background music! Zummmmmmmmm”
“I like that. Zummmmmm”
“Exactly. So what happens when they are alive?”
I looked at Jim annoyed, and continued “They become monsters!”
“Zumm Zumm Zummmmmmmm”
“Jim! Don’t overdo it!”
“Hey that was the only part I liked in the story!”
Ignoring him, I went to an orange colored car. “Look at this one. He stays all silent now, but night comes and he becomes the orster”
“Orange + monster?”
“Finally! Yes and that one there is the blaster, the other bluester and over here the whister and the grayster”
“They start greeting each other. Unlike humans, car monsters treat each other with hugendousgouspus respect”
“Just a word like humungous. Means big”
“There is no word like that”
“So who says cars talk English? I am just telling it so you understand”
“So kind Cris”
“Thanks. So with this, err respect, they say ‘Greetings Orster, you are up late today’”
“Wait till you hear what they say after the greetings.”
“I cant wait!”, Jim said sarcastically.
I eyed Jim angrily and went on. “Which human do we go and eat today?”
This time Jim showed his genuine surprise but broke the moment by laughing indefinitely. “They eat humans? Haaaaaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaaaaaa”
“There is nothing funny about it. They take humans and put them on top of their carburetor, burn them alive, boil them and chew them up in the fuel injection”
“Wow Cris you know all the technicalities”
“Yea and this happens every night. They wink at each other with their headlights when they see a potential human victim. Then that night they would hunt her/him and eat her/him. They leave their engine on so that the noise would cover the human’s screams of pain.”
“You are a sadist”
“Not me! It’s them! They are car monsters remember? And this is not it. Once they have had humans they go to the sea to get rid of evidence and clean themselves”
“Oh yeah they all drive together, reach the sea and swim. They’ll have the doors open and the doors will act like our limbs to waddle.”
“Then they come back when its dawn and stay like innocent machines which knew just to honk and accelerate”
“And the humans just disappear?”
“Mm no. When the stars are not visible in the morning, the cars lose their power and everything they did just becomes undone”
“So what does the human feel like? Coming alive after dying?”
“Oh nothing except that they were in a bad dream. This is what really happens when you have nightmares! And you think it’s just a bad dream!”
“Very informative Cris. But look its getting dark. Maybe we shouldn’t stand close to those car monsters”
“Oh gee that’s true”
Jim and I strolled back, Jim now completely loosened up and laughing while he said “Oh gee am afraid if them monsters get me tonight!”
I just frowned and walked along.
Both of us didn’t see the orange car we leaned on having one of its sealed head lights half open, and turned towards the black car.
Author now realizes she had gone too far with the monster story and curses herself for writing it well past midnight! Now she has to go sleep. Gulp!