Story of a lost journalist

June 19, 2015

Conversation.

Filed under: Conversation — Cris @ 01:45

Stupid.

Stupid?

Stupid.

Oh.

Underlined. Dotted. BOLDENED.

But not understood?

Not understood.

Sad.

Not sad. Not unexpected.

Bored.

What?

I’m bored. Let’s expand.

From one-word?

Yes. From one-words. From phrases. To full lines.

Lines like why don’t you and I have a real conversation?

Lines exactly like that.

Didn’t we have those before?

Once upon a time.

Why did we stop?

Must’ve seemed like work.

I think it was to stop fighting.

Confrontations. To avoid confrontations.

That’s what I said.

No, you said fighting.

So what’s wrong with that?

You just won’t make the effort to use the right words.

Why is that so important?

Because it is. And why do I feel like Deja vu?

We must’ve had this conversation before.

Many many times.

Yes.

Oh.

Stupid.

Stupid?

Stupid.

September 21, 2014

Die, dye, dinner

Filed under: Jim and Me Conversations — Cris @ 00:07

At one of our serious musing moments, fancy pal Jim and I sit, looking at the same dull point of a green floor. Jim says, without turning his head: “When you get old, will you dye?”

I stare. “Die?”

Jim: D-y-e. Dye your hair.

I look at him, not pleased. “If it suits me, I won’t.”

Jim: If it doesn’t?

Me: Oh I will just shave my head.

Jim, appearing rather cheerful: That will be nice to look at.

Me, turning red: Maybe you should die.

Jim: Ulp, maybe we should stop using that word, too much chemical.

Me: Oh there are other ways.

Jim: No, no. From now on, I say no one dies.. Dyes.. Do anything with d in it.

Me: Dinner?

Jim: Except dinner.

 

 

March 11, 2014

Story of a knife

Filed under: Conversation — Cris @ 16:38

Conversation between me and a friend called B, both of us trying to show off our Tamil.

Warning: You may need to know a bit of Tamil n Malayalam to get the joke.

C: Your Tamil is all bad!
B: suthama theriyath (Don’t know entirely)
C: suthuma illei,  onnume theryale (Forget entirely, you know nothing)
B: neenga konjum kathi kodukingala,please (meaning comes in the chat below)
C: athu koode wrong (That is wrong too)
We don’t say give me some knife
nee oru kathi koduppa pls (You give me a knife please)
appidi solla vendum (That’s how you say it)
B: LOL are you serious? You  did get the meaning of what I said , right?
C: ‘Give me a knife’ right?
B: Not then , but now I feel, a knife would be useful.
“neenga konjum kathi kodukingala,please” means could you please TEACH me a bit

May 21, 2013

400!

Filed under: Jim and Me Conversations,Jim and Me Conversations — Cris @ 02:41

Fancy pal Jim and I are trying to solve a crossword.

Me: Jim what’s a type of melon
Jim: Water
Me: It’s 4 letters
Jim: Pani
Me: Neat… so what’s a word for aggressive behavior
Jim: Grr
Me: It’s 12 letters
Jim: Put 11 Rs and a G. Grrrrrrrrrrr
Me: Great! Next is place of uproar and confusion – 6 letters
Jim: Oh you know that one
Me: Yea! My-Room

(Just noticed it is my 400th post! Hurray for me!)

May 3, 2013

Conversation between Cris n Curl

Filed under: Conversation,humor — Cris @ 01:06

Entering a lift, a hair called Curl gets stuck in one of the rails.

Cris: “Why, why, why do you want to leave me?”

Curl: “Hah?”

Cris: “I give you the best treatment you could possibly get!”

Curl: “I repeat, hah?”

Cris: “I don’t brush you, not comb you, barely touch you!”

Curl: “Well that’s true”

Cris: “Imagine what will happen if you leave me – you die!”

Curl: “Gulp, but I thought I will get freedom of movement. This root-thing sucks”

Cris: “Well move, move all you like, just keep your head on my head”

Curl: “My head’s getting rusty”

Cris: “Yea if you go out, you’d have no head! You will be stuck in a stupid railing all your life”

Curl: “Oh”

Cris: “Just look at that guy over there, combing and combing his hair. Or the girls who go styling and styling their hair! Do I subject you to any such torture?”

Curl: “Well no I barely ever see you up there”

Cris: “That’s what I am talking about. It’s the best place for a hair to live in, my head.”

Curl: “Maybe you have a point.”

Cris: “I always do. Now ask all your friends to come live here too, all are welcome. I am willing to give the last millimeter of empty space. All for free, no lease.”

Curl: “You are too kind, Cris. Sniff.”

Cris: “Don’t mention it my friend. I would also be happy if you all have millions of children and live there happily ever after.”

Curl: “Sniff”

April 30, 2013

Me and Mo Series – 2

Filed under: Conversation — Cris @ 02:53

Prelude: I am bitten by Mo – the mosquito I share a room with – whom I may have tried to slap.

Me: How could you do that, you blood sucker! We share a room and you bit me!

Mo: Well you were about to kill me!

Me: That’s because you bit me!

Mo: What kinda law do you follow, human! Death penalty for a bite??

Me: You took my blood!

Mo: You were about to take my life!

Me: Well…ok maybe you have a point

Mo: Of course I am always pointed

Me: Ok we make a deal. You don’t bite me, I don’t kill you.

Mo: Hmm okay but you have to bring me food

Me: I am not going to get you blood

Mo: Oh alright alright, I will go to work then, earn my own blood. You humans are no help

Me: And one more thing. Err, you shouldn’t marry.

Mo: What!

Me: Yea, I want you single.

Mo: Why!

Me: I don’t want to share my room with a bunch of junior MOs sucking my blood!

Mo: But you would have been their aunt!

Me: No thanks.

Mo: No romance then?

Me: Nothing

Mo: It’s no fun living with you.

January 31, 2012

A thing for architects

Filed under: Jim and Me Conversations,Jim and Me Conversations — Cris @ 15:46

I was watching this movie 500 days of summer with fancy pal Jim.

Me: Jim I like this Gordon guy and you know what I just realized?

Jim: It’s unfair that a fella like him should get a gorgeous girl like that?

Me: No. I just realized I have a thing for architects.

Jim: You do?

Me: Gordon here acts as an architect you see. Then I liked Ted Mosby and what is he?

Jim: An architect?

Me: Yes! You see the connection here?

Jim: Hard to miss Cris when you put it like that.

Me: But there is a problem.

Jim: What?

Me: I wouldn’t understand much of what architects say.

Jim: Ah but you don’t understand much of what anyone says anyway.

Me: Ah yea, there is that.

January 28, 2012

Seas and stars n all that

Filed under: Jim and Me Conversations,Jim and Me Conversations — Cris @ 23:54

I wouldn’t have thought the sea waves at Shanghumugham could sprinkle water so far away. For I was at this sand hill way far, watching the orange sun and the tiny crescent of a moon play hide and seek – when one appears, the other hides under the clouds. But when I licked my lips I could taste salt. Yum!

I planned to walk cause the breeze seemed unwilling at first to …

“Oh lord would you stop already?” fancy pal Jim raised his sleepy head.

“What?”

“All this stuff about breezy seas and starry nights. Haven’t you been writing too much about all that already!”

“But it’s fun stuff. You should listen to the lazy breeze slowly get up from the north… err south… err ahem, a faraway point and bring their tiny little… err”

“Asses?”

“Jim! Language! This is a universal blog, I don’t wanna certify it with an 18 plus!”

“Right! And what about the north south wind? Oh wait, it was a far away point rite? How romantic, how poetic!”

“A minor vocab handicap”

“Of course. And the salt part of it was?”

“The description. Ye always describe every taste and smell and sight when… err when…”

“You try to be Mills and Boons?”

“I wasn’t! Argh! I had some serious stuff coming up. But now cause you interrupted, no one will ever know how good that was going to be”

“Let me help you out here Cris. Inject some more waves, some music, some twilight darkness, a few couples walking hither and thither holding hands, while you slip into a world of imagination…”

“Ok ok I get the picture. Hmm maybe I was overdoing it a wee bit”

“Wee bit?! Cris, you forgot what an unmushy world was like!”

“That bad?”

“That bad”

“Okay then! No more mush!”

“No more”

“No more lovey dovey cushy tushy stuff”

“No Sir”

“No sun or moon or stars or sky”

“No breeze either”

“No beaches, no buses”

“No… err why buses?”

“You like them?”

“Very friendly beings if you ask me. Keep honking and hopping all the time.”

“Creative little things aren’t they?”

“Creative, yes. Little, not. But ye they are the best”

“Hail buses!”

“Hail buses!”

“From now on we write about buses. And bus stops. And bus bays. And bus conductors”

“Err we?”

“Of course Jim, we love ‘em”

“Oh we do, but writing – you do. I will do the sulking.”

“Oh really? In that case I am bringing back the seas and skies and trees and all!”

“You will, will ya?”

“Yes I will. Unless you agree to do half the writing.”

“Half?”

“Half. 50 per cent. One by two.”

“Woah considering your number of words, that’s long!”

“Yep”

“Emm Cris”

“Yes Jim?”

“Maybe the nature thing is not so bad after all. Ol’ Wordsworth did it, didn’t he?”

“Sure did.”

“And people love Wordy”

“Oh yes they do”

“Maybe the universe is not all that bad then. I mean what harm could a few waves and tiny bits of sand do?”

“As I said, creative little beings those things are.”

“Friendly too.”

“Oh yea, very.”

September 24, 2011

Spying

Filed under: Jim and Me Conversations — Cris @ 19:09

Fancy pal Jim had just woken up from a 10 hour siesta.

Jim: I’ve got a hell lot of things to tell you

Me: What is it?

Jim: What? Do you have to know everything right away?

Me: Okay, tell me tomorrow then.

Jim: I will think about it.

Me: Oh come on, what else have you got to do?

Jim: What? You think I sit doing nothing all day?

Me: Yep

Jim: Have you been spying on me?

August 12, 2011

Jim the blogling

Filed under: Jim and Me Conversations — Cris @ 01:46

I had no idea people liked this bummer here so much. Am talking about fancy pal Mr Jim. I shove him off the blog for awhile and I get queries about his well being. They say bring him back.

Jim: hee haa told you I was popular

Me: you! Didn’t I tell you this blog is off limits for you?

Jim: sorry dear they miss me. Apparently they don’t seem to show the same interest about you

Me: hey I am your creator!

Jim: ye ye my one handicap

Me: But seriously would you believe it – I dumped you for three years!

Jim: Says who? I ran away

Me: Yea? And I suppose you lived in someone else’s imagination?

Jim: Actually Cris, it is the other way around

Me: What do you mean?

Jim: I am the real one here and you were part of my imagination.

Me: Indeed?

Jim: Yes, you see there is a whole real world in blogosphere. You are external to it, you earthling. You are an alien here. I imagine you here.

Me: So you are a blogling?

Jim: Very much. In a blog world, lives bloglings like me. You earthlings don’t!

Me: Ha! So what are you going to do? Chuck me out?

Jim: Tempting, very. But you seem to miss the point. This is the moment of realization where you finally understand the truth. That you are no one here. You don’t belong here Cris!

Me: And you are overdoing it. Where are the other bloglings then?

Jim: In other people’s blogs of course. In yours, there’s only me. And occasionally the characters you drop in like old Al.

Me: Interesting.

Jim: Now Cris, if you don’t mind, I’d like some peace and quiet here. So I’d prefer it if you gave it a rest and came back much later.

Me: You are chucking me out of my own blog?

Jim: Don’t make me call our president.

Me: And who is that?

Jim: Prathibha Patil’s fancy pal

Me: Ah

Jim: I like to do things legally you see. So if you don’t comply, I call the authority.

Me: You have cops too in here?

Jim: Ye but only good ones.

Me: Why?

Jim: The bad ones don’t have time for fancy pals. Rather I hear they kill their own fancy pals.

Me: Can’t blame them

Jim: I will pretend to ignore that. We also have our own lawyers. I could file for blogo-defamation

Me: And put me in a blog jail

Jim: I might put you in blog-guillotine

Me: Heh… ve-very blog-funny Jim.

Jim: so you planning to stay?

Me: No. I remembered I have a busy life outside

Jim: Ha scared are ya? No worry I will see you later. I’d like to read what fancy-Rowling has created in her blog-fantasy novel.

Me: Woah you are complicating it.

Jim: Aren’t you off yet?

Me: I am! Adios

Jim: That takes care of her.

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