8 letters. And yet, the word manages to end up the biggest word in every conversation I have. If you don’t know what could be a sure-hit conversation setter, try this – bring in a woman in her 20s who does not want to marry. In most cases I have to deal with, this woman happens to be me. so I never run out of ideas for conversation. Well, even if I most willing do, others around me do not.
I stopped trying to explain my no-marriage stand from a long time ago. Its just too alien to the world I have decided. People are just not ready to accept the idea. Tell them the ground below them is going to break open and the water is going to come out and flood the whole world – they will take it. But a woman who does not want to marry – no way!
Thing is I wish people would accept it like another thing they hear – just like you’d say “Teacher? No I don’t want to be a teacher. I’d rather be a cop”.
What does one reply to that? You don’t hear them say “you don’t want to be a teacher???” – followed by expressions of shock, disbelief – “Really? But why? What made you take this decision? What is wrong with you? Did something go wrong in your childhood? You need to see a psychiatrist! You need counseling!”
No. Because that is considered “normal” and a no-marriage stand is not.
Let me try explaining a few things here, though I might predict, none of them would be satisfactory.
You don’t want to marry? No
Why not? Not interested
Why not? Eh?
Why are you not interested? Cause I don’t want to.
Why don’t you want to? Its just not my thing that’s all
Why is it not your thing? Cause there are things I want to do, and this is not one of them
Why not? Eh?
You see – the problem with all these questions is – there is a lot too many why nots there! And I do not like it! If someone says someone is not interested to do something, why would there be a why to it? Its just not in their interest. Just like Bon Jovi’s songs may not interest someone. Or movies may not interest someone else. Or as strange as you may think it is, there are people who are not interested in music!
So there. I am back to stage 1. Where I end up having these conversations. And to think there have been times when I thought it would be so nice to be on a different line – the one less traveled like some poet wrote one day. Trust me ladies and gentlemen, it may not be a pleasant path, especially when you have every leaf, stone and bird on the other path asking you why you were not taking it!
(I had a conversation with a really nice man I respect a lot on this subject today. Though it gave me the idea to actually write about marriage, it is not at all about him that I write today. No he does not read this blog. But I had to write the after-word to keep my conscience clear.)