Story of a lost journalist

May 29, 2008

Another 2 A.M. story

Filed under: Jim and Me Conversations — Cris @ 22:04
Tags: ,

It seems the 2 AM miseries are becoming a daily thing for me. Maybe I should write a book on them. Today, contradictory to my previous entry, I had a bad vomiting sensation (V-S for future references) which broke out exactly when the clock gave out the 2 AM chimes. If this was a curse, I will have to change my opinion about curses. I always thought them harmless little pranks old witches played on princes and frogs.

“Not anymore they aren’t”, my fancy pal Mr Jim said, apparently walking in from the next room. I must’ve been loud about my curse-protests. I ignored him knowing he wanted me to ask why.

My V-S hung about for an hour. It had somehow a kind of intoxicated effect on me. Quite natural. I felt weak. My mind felt weak. And when we were both weak, me and my mind, we lost grip of things.

Troubles began when I, standing in front of the wash basin, all ready for action, moved my tongue around and got it stuck between my teeth. Problem with moving tongues are, they don’t know how to come out of places they go and get stuck at. I tried force. Ouch. I tried tactic. Double ouch. I screamed. But without the help of my tongue, my scream was as loud as a Jerry-mouse-squeal. Jim offered to play the role of Tom and strike my head with an axe – “shocks are good tongue-releasers Cris”. I said no thanks.

The pain was horrifying. I imagined the prospect of a whole life with a stuck tongue. It was not a good looking future. After a lot of struggle, I was free but I made the mistake of letting out a yelp of joy. It went “Bow Wow Wow Yippie Yo Yippie Yay”. I forgot I lost Jerry’s voice with the tongue loosened. Parents are always unpredictable. One would think they love to see their little ones have fun and do a joy-dance. It wasn’t my fault I had a dancing sensation at 2:15 AM.

Lot of explanations later, I was back in my room and my V-S was still working pretty strong. As mentioned above, it gave a heavy-head feeling. I wanted to sing. And when I sang I sounded like I still had my tongue stuck in my teeth. I chose Bryan Adams. “If you love a woman, zell her zat zees not a woman”

“That’s not how he sang it!”

“Shut up Zim”

“What’s with this Z-thing”

“Zim what was that noise”


“Zut up Zimbo. Zayer iz a zhief in the house. I am going to get him.”

“There is no thief”

I jumped up on my bed nearly missing the ceiling fan and sang aloud “Bad boys bad boys whatcha gonna do when I come for you”

“Hide is my guess”

“Nobody asked you Zimbo. I am going to make a zpeech”

“Cris go to sleep”. Somehow his line sounded affectionate. This was a touchy thing now.

“Zimbo”. I felt emotional. “Have I ever told you what you are Zimbo”. I sniffed.

“Sigh a lot of times and a lot of names”

“I will tell you what you are Zimbo. You are a goose boy. That’s what you are. A very goose boy”. This time I ejected out an ocean of tears.

I remember I felt very innovative for the next few minutes. I redecorated my room in what I thought was the perfect way. I should have stopped with mine. I also went and redecorated my living room. Mother, it seems preferred the mats on the floor under the table, and not the other way. And there was no appreciation for hiding the ugly looking sofas with my beautiful bed sheets. There is no place for aesthetic sense in this world anymore.

By morning my V-S was gone, my intoxication was gone and I called Jim, Jim. I did not like the happy look on his face when I called him an imbecile.

Life was becoming treacherous after midnight. Today I am going in at 23:59 sharp.



  1. the stuck tongue session reminds me , my first whiskey attempt !! 😉 But it was back to original position when i puked! :D… I think u shud’ve puked instead of pulling that poor tongue.. D

    Comment by Srijith — June 1, 2008 @ 12:58 | Reply

  2. I never knew the V-S sensation can be this Creative:)…A funny Good one … With our Jimmy Boy..

    Comment by Javed Miandad — February 3, 2012 @ 06:35 | Reply

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