Story of a lost journalist

November 1, 2008

To dentist we (dont want to) go


Two conversations. Err dentists or docs, please skip this. No defamation charges shall be accepted.

Scene 1: Jim and Me in living room, today

Me: Jim, I am going to die

Jim: Oh?

Me: Yes. Next week.

Jim: Oh?

Me: I am against suicide

Jim: Oh?

Me: So I am appointing someone to kill me

Jim: I cant

Me: Eh?

Jim: I’d love to help you Cris you know I always do. But I don’t like the smell of blood

Me: Thank you Jim but you don’t have to take the trouble

Jim: Oh is there a back up killer?

Me: There is only one. My dentist

Jim: Oh he is not going to kill you. He will just drive some screws into your jaws

Me: Thanks a lot Jim! That helps!

Jim: Oh don’t be a baby Cris, its no big deal!

Me: But it is! What if he was bored and thinks a root canal will be a fun thing to do?

Jim: Err Cris

Me: It is possible you know. Half the time dentists do things out of sheer boredom.

Jim: I don’t think root canal is a fun thing for dentists either. Monopoly maybe.

Me: You are missing the point. We are talking about me, remember! Solve my problem first.

Jim: You could choose not to go.

Me: I cant. The pain is killing me.

Jim: You could distract yourself. Read Calvin

Me: How? Stick it to the roof?

Jim: Oh I didn’t think of that. Oh yeah mp3 player

Me: Jim! Well that is an idea. But he might confuse it for his stethoscope and throw water at it.

Jim: Dentists throw water at stethoscopes?

Me: All the time. They throw water everywhere, into your mouth, onto their knives and even the nurses.

Jim: Why nurses?

Me: Identification I guess. To know them from patients.

Jim: Oh. Maybe they like gardening.

Me: So coming back to my problem

Jim: Oh forget it Cris, lets just eat for now

Me: Hmm easy for you to say you cavity-less creature!

Jim: One day Cris one day I will get it too.

Me: Don’t worry, I will take you to a doc. Unless you like to stay alive a little longer?

 

Scene 2: Monday morning, coming Monday morning

Me: I have got 2 cavities

Doc: 2 of ‘em?

Me: Yes can you tell me if I will need root canalling?

Doc: Hmm you just might

Me: Oh I don’t want to die so young

Doc: Root canalling does not imply suicide as is the general conviction

Me: No I know

Doc: Good

Me: Its willful murder

Doc: I beg your pardon?

Me: I am letting you kill me.

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18 Comments »

  1. hahaha.. See that you have got your funny bone back..
    Hate to do this to you but you are tagged on something serious *sigh
    http://manasinakkare.wordpress.com/2008/11/01/am-i-a-feminist/

    Comment by Seema — November 1, 2008 @ 09:03 | Reply

  2. Ah ! That depression is gone. This one tickled that piece of bone !!

    Wilful murder !!! Cracked me up !!

    Comment by Kavi — November 1, 2008 @ 13:14 | Reply

  3. ha ha good one 🙂 So are you still alive?

    Comment by Dhanya — November 1, 2008 @ 14:11 | Reply

  4. I have gnerally believed that if you marry a dentist you can cut expenses incurred in a lifetime by half!

    Comment by mathew — November 2, 2008 @ 00:35 | Reply

  5. I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. He told me to wear a brown tie.

    Comment by Pradeep — November 2, 2008 @ 01:46 | Reply

  6. Root Canal a monopoly??
    nice one..

    Comment by Al — November 2, 2008 @ 03:03 | Reply

  7. Brings back memories. Painful ones. I had root canal done once. Avoiding dentists has since become a prime goal in life.

    I have some problems with my teeth right now, but I’m going to try and keep it a secret. Let’s see how long I can push the inevitable.

    Comment by hammy — November 2, 2008 @ 10:15 | Reply

  8. Commentless 🙂

    funneh!

    Comment by Julya — November 2, 2008 @ 18:04 | Reply

  9. And u thought u lost u’r humor!! This one made me laugh. It really did. Surprisingly, I don’t have the same fear of dentists that everyone else has. Probably coz’ I didn’t have to go to the dentist until i was 18. Really funny piece Chrissy! Keep it up. Expecting more!!

    Comment by M.Rose — November 2, 2008 @ 23:41 | Reply

  10. Cris,
    Dental miseries are never ending and expensive.
    Just got an RCT done 2 months back.And thats my second.
    Raatri brush cheyyan amma parayunnath kettal mathy aayirunnu 😀

    A brush in time,saves RCTs
    But for the time and money involved RCT is not that painful as you think. 🙂
    Oru 5k poyi kittum,atre ullu!

    -Nikhil

    Comment by Nikhil Narayanan — November 3, 2008 @ 13:17 | Reply

  11. @Seema, thanks dear. I like tags 🙂

    @Kavi, oh the pleasure of hearing that! Thank you!

    @Dhanya, poking myself – ouch – yep very much alive! Or is that a dream-test?

    @mathew, you certainly thought right!!! I am looking at my purse and saying hullo anybody in there?

    @Pradeep, LOL! That was a really good one!

    @Al, hehe

    @hammy, as much as I hate to promote dentistism, I have to say this – please go see your doc at once. Cause after a while it will be too late and then you may have to go for something as bad as root canal – or something even worse. So its best to go to your money-cleaner, err dentist, as soon as your teeth start acting odd – the more time you take to go, the more painful the treatment will be!

    @Julya, thank you 🙂

    @M.Rose, you dont say people lose fear when they age? Dentists, according to my careful analysis had managed to terrorize people of all ages and times! Look at Hercule Poirot for one!

    @NN, for many days I brush morning, night and even every time I go out! And still they do this to me, ungrateful teeth! And 5k??? Seriously?? Egad!

    Comment by Cris — November 3, 2008 @ 20:20 | Reply

  12. But then I’m weird. When I went to the dentist’s I was oddly calm, much to the surprise of the dentist. Apparently, people faint when they are in the dentist’s chair. He told me not to be afraid & not to faint. I calmly reassured him that i wont & i didn’t. He was genuinely surprised. Oh, something funny happened. One time, when the dentist was ‘plucking’ my teeth, it flew all the way across the room (honest). It was hilarious. I was laughing, but then, my mouth was numb so my laugh was kinda freaky! Guess i’m the only one who came away with a “fun” experience after a dentist appointment. Like i said, ‘weird’!!

    Comment by M.Rose — November 4, 2008 @ 00:41 | Reply

  13. Lol very very nice write-up. Il send the link to my dentist 😀

    Comment by Twisted Elegance — November 4, 2008 @ 08:51 | Reply

  14. @M.Rose, LOL the flying-tooth story was hilarious! I’d call you one happening girl!

    @Twisted Elegance, thanks for dropping by :-). Err when you send it to your dentist, can you mention the author also thinks dentists are superhumanly intelligent?

    Comment by Cris — November 5, 2008 @ 13:48 | Reply

  15. hiya!! Jim’s backk!!!! 😀

    “Half the time dentists do things out of sheer boredom.”
    teehee!!
    btw, half the ppl get on with their lives doing something or the other only and only out of sheer boredom.

    Comment by usha — November 6, 2008 @ 17:20 | Reply

  16. Nice. Suspense is maintained till and after the end. It is not mentioned whether you received the bill after the root canal !

    Comment by manu — November 6, 2008 @ 19:38 | Reply

  17. There’s a painless dentist near my home in Tcr. Interested? 🙂

    I completely sympathise with you – I am in the same boat dear. I brush twice a day and floss without fail. But still every year when I visit my dentist he says ‘that tooth needs fixing’ 😦 2K is usually spent every year in keeping my teeth alive and in good condition.

    Comment by GWBE — November 8, 2008 @ 19:49 | Reply

  18. @usha, Jims always been lurking around hehe. People do things out of boredom – actually yes you are right and half the time they wont even realize what they are doing!

    @manu, I didnt have to have the root canal, well not yet. He gave me a temporary fix and that itself presented a huge bill! I dont want to imagine what a root canal bill looks like!

    @GWBE, Thrissur? Err no dear travelling 6 hours for a root canal does seem interesting but I’d rather give the local guy another chance :D. And I know what you mean. Life with tooth is horrible and you cant add losing-your-teeth in your wishlist!

    Comment by Cris — November 10, 2008 @ 21:51 | Reply


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