Story of a lost journalist

November 1, 2008

To dentist we (dont want to) go

Two conversations. Err dentists or docs, please skip this. No defamation charges shall be accepted.

Scene 1: Jim and Me in living room, today

Me: Jim, I am going to die

Jim: Oh?

Me: Yes. Next week.

Jim: Oh?

Me: I am against suicide

Jim: Oh?

Me: So I am appointing someone to kill me

Jim: I cant

Me: Eh?

Jim: I’d love to help you Cris you know I always do. But I don’t like the smell of blood

Me: Thank you Jim but you don’t have to take the trouble

Jim: Oh is there a back up killer?

Me: There is only one. My dentist

Jim: Oh he is not going to kill you. He will just drive some screws into your jaws

Me: Thanks a lot Jim! That helps!

Jim: Oh don’t be a baby Cris, its no big deal!

Me: But it is! What if he was bored and thinks a root canal will be a fun thing to do?

Jim: Err Cris

Me: It is possible you know. Half the time dentists do things out of sheer boredom.

Jim: I don’t think root canal is a fun thing for dentists either. Monopoly maybe.

Me: You are missing the point. We are talking about me, remember! Solve my problem first.

Jim: You could choose not to go.

Me: I cant. The pain is killing me.

Jim: You could distract yourself. Read Calvin

Me: How? Stick it to the roof?

Jim: Oh I didn’t think of that. Oh yeah mp3 player

Me: Jim! Well that is an idea. But he might confuse it for his stethoscope and throw water at it.

Jim: Dentists throw water at stethoscopes?

Me: All the time. They throw water everywhere, into your mouth, onto their knives and even the nurses.

Jim: Why nurses?

Me: Identification I guess. To know them from patients.

Jim: Oh. Maybe they like gardening.

Me: So coming back to my problem

Jim: Oh forget it Cris, lets just eat for now

Me: Hmm easy for you to say you cavity-less creature!

Jim: One day Cris one day I will get it too.

Me: Don’t worry, I will take you to a doc. Unless you like to stay alive a little longer?

 

Scene 2: Monday morning, coming Monday morning

Me: I have got 2 cavities

Doc: 2 of ‘em?

Me: Yes can you tell me if I will need root canalling?

Doc: Hmm you just might

Me: Oh I don’t want to die so young

Doc: Root canalling does not imply suicide as is the general conviction

Me: No I know

Doc: Good

Me: Its willful murder

Doc: I beg your pardon?

Me: I am letting you kill me.

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August 15, 2008

Help Ms Cris: Starring Cris, fancy pal Mr Jim

Filed under: Cartoon,Jim and Me Conversations — Cris @ 23:56
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jim

August 2, 2008

Experimental cartooning: Me, fancy pal Mr Jim

Filed under: Cartoon,Jim and Me Conversations — Cris @ 12:36
Tags: , ,

j11

(more…)

July 29, 2008

Conversation with a chocolate.

Filed under: Conversation,Imagination — Cris @ 02:57
Tags: , ,

The nice little chocolate no one took out of the Cadbury box stayed gloomy till the hands of Ms Cris had reached it.
“Oh dear Cris, please have me. No one ever wants to have me. Sniff, sniff, sob and sob”
“Sure no probs, come on take a leap to my hands”
The little chocolate, lets call it Chocky climbed happily and burst out singing.

“Today today is the day,
I am I am released.
And I owe it owe it to
Dear dear Ms Cris”

“Uh what is with the double-words?” Ms Cris asked
“That’s to make it poetic. That’s how we chocolates write poems you know”
“Ah. Your favorite hobby?”
“Yeah when we are not getting eaten, we write poems”
“Amazing”
“Oh dear Cris, you don’t know what this means. The only way a chocolate can have salvation is by reaching a human’s stomach”
“Hmm you should rephrase that to going through a human stomach. There is no guarantee you will remain there”

Chocky broke out singing again. “Today today is the day”
“Ok ok little guy, relax! We will take you in now, shall we? You ready?”
“Aww Cris is it time already?! Wow I feel like I am about to get married!”
“Sheesh! More of that and I will put you back in the box!”

Ms Cris took Chocky towards the mouth, but decided to sniff first.
“Oh wow you smell real good!”
“Oh Cris you are making me blush now!”
“Ok ok in you go. Lets take this conversation up from inside my stomach now”
Ms Cris opened her mouth and in went Chocky.

“Oh Cris you have such a beautiful tongue”
“Err thanks! Why don’t you go talk to your other fat chocolate friends down there?”
“Aww Cris it feels so good to melt here. You know how to treat a chocolate nice!”
“Err don’t you mind getting crunched? I kinda feel odd biting a friendly little fellow like you”
“Odd? Cris this is the first step of salvation. Its like when yogis meditate you know. We are in touch with peace”
“If you say so. Strange way your system works”
“Maybe one day you will be a chocolate to a bigger system and you will know what I mean!”
“What?! Getting chewed up?! No thanks, I prefer natural death!”
“Oh well I guess everybody is not that lucky. Alright Cris I am leaving your mouth now. Going to meet other friends you salvaged down there. You will bring more wont you? Help all of us in our cult?”
“Sure sure. Always glad to help, err, salvation. Nice talking to ya Chocky! Have fun!”

Ms Cris then eyed a big fat one in the box. She could hear loud screeches of “Choose me, please choose me”, coming from all corners of the box. Which one to choose, she wondered, hmm the fat one, she decided. But this story doesn’t end in a tragedy. For every one of those little fellows, fat and small are going to be treated fair and square by dear Ms Cris and they will all find salvation. They now sang in chorus

“Today today is the day,
I am I am released.
And I owe it owe it to
Dear dear Ms Cris”

And Ms Cris sang

“Today today is the day,
I turned fat and squat,
Thank thank you guys
For making me so so”

July 7, 2008

Al, Al Pacino-look-alike or Al Pacino?

Filed under: Imagination — Cris @ 22:30
Tags: ,

I am sitting by the pond and watching the water aimlessly. I don’t notice an older guy come and sit near me until he says “Hi”.
Pause for 13 seconds.
The old guy is still there, and I look at him and say “Hi”. I notice something about him and smile. He says “It took you so long to say hi?”

Was he searching for something in my face? Hmm, no. I smile at him again and say “I am new in this place. In this country.”
He says “Ohhhhh”
And I proceed, “I don’t know the ways here you know”
“Where are you from?”, he asks politely
I say, “I am from India”
“Wow that is far. I guess people don’t talk to strangers much in your place?”
I laugh softly at this and say “No, haha, they don’t”
He smiles gently and says “Wow then I must be honored. Why were you so nice to talk to me?”
I laugh, stop for a moment to think and tell the truth. “You look like Al Pacino”
He laughs too now. “Haa haa! So Al Pacino is a nice guy to talk to?”
“He seems like a nice guy. In movies”, I say thoughtfully.
He laughs and says “Not everything that seems to be what they are, are what they really are my dear”
I nodded.

Pause for 30 seconds. He too is looking at the water now. Probably thinking on what he said. And then as an add-on to the last line he says “Some things are though”.
I like this guy. I wish he would stay longer.
As if he read my thoughts, he says “I am actually expecting company. What about you?”
“I am not, I thought I will, you know, just sit here for a while”
“You like being alone?”
“Sometimes”
“Why?”
“Cause there is no strain. I don’t have to keep my company amused, I don’t have to talk about things. I can just think what I feel like. Its less stressful”
Now he bursts out laughing. “That’s the first time I hear that haha. But you talk sense. Most people don’t realize this. But then again you know what?”
“What”
“There could be people with whom you could do all these things you do alone now. Leave them unamused, stay in silence and in one’s own thoughts without worrying about what the other feels”
“Oh”
“Yes”

And then, we did just that. I forget he is there and go to my own thoughts. He on his part stares at a bench on the other side, probably deep in thought. After a while, I don’t know how long, I ask, “When is your company coming?”. There is panic in my voice. It is like asking when will they take you away from me. Your silence, and your presence so good as to keep me to myself and in company all at the same time.
“I don’t know. But am glad she is late”. He looks at me and smiles. With that, a car horns and he turns around. “Coming”, he shouts and turns to look at me.
“It was really really nice meeting you. What shall I call you?”
“Cris, please. And you?”
“Call me Al”, he smiles, pats my head and runs to the car. For an older guy, he didn’t seem old at heart at all.

I stand up from the pond and walk oblivious to the murmurings around me and the group of people rushing towards his car. The murmurers and the rushers never came near the pond when he was there. Now they are coming towards me. I could hear someone who is a little loud with excitement. “That’s the girl that talked to Al Pacino! And she didn’t even know who he was”

I smile. What did they know? In this land of imagination, I created my Al Pacinos. I went and sat by a pond in a foreign country when I felt like and talked to people I felt like. I was the ruler, the director. But I wish now Al was real. I made him too good now I want to take him out of my imagination and bring him to the real world. ‘Possible failure of goodness retaining if taken to real world’, my wisdom advised. “So ok Al, you just stay there. And drop by when I visit the pond again. Love, Cris.” I write on a piece of paper. Al looks at it and smiles. “Reality, dear Cris could be so amazingly strange you might end up feeling its just your little imagination”.

[call me al song]

July 3, 2008

Car Monsters!!!

Filed under: Imagination,Jim and Me Conversations — Cris @ 04:29
Tags: , ,

“Jimmmmm”, I yelled at my fancy pal Mr Jim when I found him dozing in the middle of my interesting story.

And I got a very reactive reply. “Zzzzzzzzz”

“Well that’s just fine! You can pretend you are asleep but I’m finishing my story anyway”

Knowing he was in for it, Jim rose and said “Oh come on Cris! You know it’s boring!”

“It is not! You are just not using your imagination. Come let me take you to the place of action”

With that, the 2 of us, all enthusiastic and happy… BUZZ [Lie detected]! Ok one of us all enthusiastic and happy and the other literally dragged reached a cark parking zone.

“This is where I use my imagination? In a car park? What do I imagine? Car marriages???”, Jim was loudly reproaching.

“Oh don’t be such a whiner! Let me start all over again”

“Here we go.”

“When it turns dark, and all the cars are left to rest, the cars slowly move out of the car sheds and look up. What do they see?”

“Car roofs”

“No! The sky! And stars. Unlike humans, cars have a gift. They could extract powers from stars”

“Brilliant. Why wasn’t I born a car?”

“Cut it out Jim. So these cars, they get the power to come alive. Zummmmmmmmmm”

“That’s their power sound?”

“That’s the background music! Zummmmmmmmm”

“I like that. Zummmmmm”

“Exactly. So what happens when they are alive?”

“Zummmmmmmmmm”

I looked at Jim annoyed, and continued “They become monsters!”

“Zumm Zumm Zummmmmmmm”

“Jim! Don’t overdo it!”

“Hey that was the only part I liked in the story!”

Ignoring him, I went to an orange colored car. “Look at this one. He stays all silent now, but night comes and he becomes the orster”

“Orange + monster?”

“Finally! Yes and that one there is the blaster, the other bluester and over here the whister and the grayster”

“How creative!”

“They start greeting each other. Unlike humans, car monsters treat each other with hugendousgouspus respect”

“What respect?”

“Just a word like humungous. Means big”

“There is no word like that”

“So who says cars talk English? I am just telling it so you understand”

“So kind Cris”

“Thanks. So with this, err respect, they say ‘Greetings Orster, you are up late today’”

“Neat”

“Wait till you hear what they say after the greetings.”

“I cant wait!”, Jim said sarcastically.

I eyed Jim angrily and went on. “Which human do we go and eat today?”

This time Jim showed his genuine surprise but broke the moment by laughing indefinitely. “They eat humans? Haaaaaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaaaaaa”

“There is nothing funny about it. They take humans and put them on top of their carburetor, burn them alive, boil them and chew them up in the fuel injection”

“Wow Cris you know all the technicalities”

“Yea and this happens every night. They wink at each other with their headlights when they see a potential human victim. Then that night they would hunt her/him and eat her/him. They leave their engine on so that the noise would cover the human’s screams of pain.”

“You are a sadist”

“Not me! It’s them! They are car monsters remember? And this is not it. Once they have had humans they go to the sea to get rid of evidence and clean themselves”

“Sea?”

“Oh yeah they all drive together, reach the sea and swim. They’ll have the doors open and the doors will act like our limbs to waddle.”

“Nasty”

“Then they come back when its dawn and stay like innocent machines which knew just to honk and accelerate”

“And the humans just disappear?”

“Mm no. When the stars are not visible in the morning, the cars lose their power and everything they did just becomes undone”

“So what does the human feel like? Coming alive after dying?”

“Oh nothing except that they were in a bad dream. This is what really happens when you have nightmares! And you think it’s just a bad dream!”

“Very informative Cris. But look its getting dark. Maybe we shouldn’t stand close to those car monsters”

“Oh gee that’s true”

Jim and I strolled back, Jim now completely loosened up and laughing while he said “Oh gee am afraid if them monsters get me tonight!”

I just frowned and walked along.

Both of us didn’t see the orange car we leaned on having one of its sealed head lights half open, and turned towards the black car.

Author now realizes she had gone too far with the monster story and curses herself for writing it well past midnight! Now she has to go sleep. Gulp!

June 24, 2008

Deadly monster attack

Filed under: Imagination,Jim and Me Conversations — Cris @ 23:27
Tags: ,

I saw it coming from far ahead. The shape and size was growing bigger every second. I knew it was destiny that put me here. The moment we were all scared of was finally here. It was man versus monster. And I was put in charge of the ‘man’ side. It was one woman against the monster. They must be sending their leader now and before you know it, a whole army of monsters would be at your doorstep. I had to do it. I had to save the human race. The monster had to go. There was no use sitting quiet. I had to talk to it.

“Hey you”

I addressed the ugly monster. It turned to look at me. No smile, no friendliness. This was going to be tough. But I didn’t plan to make it any tougher.

“Haha. Did I say ‘you’? I meant your honor, hullo.”

What? I had to be polite! Humans are renowned for kindness to other species.
“Oh no! Don’t fly! You are just an infant.”

There it was, those ugly wings all spread out, ready to attack any minute.

“I mean you are a baby. You’ve got to master your walking first before you learn to fly. Walking is fun. Move your left legs out. All of them.”

Monster though it was, it must be one of the good ones. It was walking just like I told it, but not in the direction or speed I had in mind.

“No no not so fast! You don’t want to do the boogie-woogie wrong do you? And not in this direction.”

The connection between us was broken now. It did not seem to follow what I said.

“Look pal, you don’t walk towards a human. Especially one that sings.”
I proceeded to sing. “Lalala….. booga booga woogie… get yourself a woogie”
It stopped. I didn’t know if it has eyebrows, but I am sure if it had, it’d have them raised now.

“That’s right. Don’t talk to strangers and don’t walk to singers. Didn’t your Mama teach you that? And I must tell you. My singing have killed a few animals in the past.”

Now the connection was on again. The monster was retreating its steps slowly. And whenever it paused, I sang even more loudly and it had its tail on fire!
At this proud glorified moment, when I was all ready to give a brand new innovative Nobel Prize speech, my fancy pal Mr Jim appeared.

“Cris”

“Yea?”
Why did he come now?!

“You were yelling and jumping all around the room… and singing unusually loud”

“You are some pal! Did you see what attacked me?”

Jim was calm. “A cockroach”

I stared! “A monster!”

Jim was shaking his head. “A 2 cm long cockroach”

“Hey you don’t insult my monster that way. Err you saw it all?”

“Yep”

I thought for a minute. I knew when I was a Nobel Prize Winner. I also knew when I was a Nobel Prize Loser.
“Jim, remember that blue Denim jacket you wanted?”

“Ya”

“It is yours”

“Thanks Cris, you are a pal!”

We sat silent for 2 long minutes.

“Jim”

“Yes Cris?”

“This is not going out”

“For that Denim jacket Cris, you can keep all the cockroaches in this world”

“One Jim, just one!”

“Yeah one”

“And it is a monster”

“It sure is Cris, it sure is”

June 6, 2008

Be nice to bulbs

Filed under: Conversation,Imagination — Cris @ 14:09
Tags: ,

I don’t like bulbs that won’t work all the time. I don’t try to hide the fact either. I curse all the bulbs in the world when I have to go to my room and my bulb refuse to turn on. I was in the middle of cursing one day when the bulb suddenly turned on and the room was covered with light. I smiled and looked at the bulb. I became emotional. “Why thank you, that is the nicest darn thing you’ve ever done for me! You are not all that bad you know!”

“Yeah and it’d do good if you were nice like that all the time”

I froze. Surely, it had to be someone hiding behind the curtain, probably some little prankster. But there was no one else in the house. I looked up at the bulb expecting to see a face that would wink at me. No face. The same old bulb with the same old filament inside. I shook my head “my imagination is running away with me”

“Yeah and you better run with it”

“I don’t believe this!”

“Wow wow so you can talk in non-curses”

“Is this some sort of trick?”

“Let’s call it magic”

“What’s going on?” I was almost pleading to the bulb.

“Here’s the deal dear girl. There are 2 things in this world that can get us bulbs talking – one is unreasonably excessive love, the other is unreasonably excessive damning! You got to yours through the second way which I must say am not so fond of”

“I still don’t believe it”

“Oh it’s true. We bulbs are awfully decent and neat. You see we don’t have to be a gentleman or a lady to behave. We just behave being bulbs”

“Not that dim-wit! You are not living! You can’t talk”

“I guess my little speech on good manners didn’t get through to you. Well of course what else could you expect! You are a human”

“Hey what’s so bad about that?”

“Humans? Oh please. On his sixth day God made humans and ended his work. On his best days Edison made us and went to Las Vegas”

“Las Vegas did not exist when Edison lived”

“Oh that man created Vegas!”

“What?! That’s a whole lot of rot”

“Ironically he died the same year gambling was legalized in Vegas”

“How do you know all this and I can’t believe I am talking to a bulb!”

“Didn’t you get over it yet girl? Ok here’s the thing. Try being nice, try being a bulb girl and you will find me turning on all the time. Say please when you want me lighted and thank you when you are done”

“No way! People will call me crazy”

“No, people are not wise enough to observe the obvious. Just do it and you will see the results.”

I resigned. I did not want to believe anything I heard but I was curious. So I tried the “please” and “thank you” routines the next few times and the bulb kept its promise. It took a week for it to talk again though.

“Convinced Shortie?”

“Maybe you just started working. There must have been some kinda short circuit or whatever it is you guys stop working for”

“Oh come on! I work only when you come and only cause you finally got some bulb in you”

“Alright I will believe you. But this is between the 2 of us. I won’t have it going around that I talk to my bulb”

“Oh for heavens sake I will pay you to not let it go out I stooped to the level of interacting with a human! I would be thrown out of the bulb brothers’ community”

I couldn’t suppress my laughter. “You have a bulb brothers’ community?”

“There is no need to be so amused! We are one for all and all for one”

It seemed insulted and refused to talk the rest of the day. After a few days I got used to having a talking bulb around. And one day when I saw my friend looking stunt and bewildered after getting out of the “bulb room”, I guessed. “Saw something unusual pal?”

We looked at each other with rays of understanding connecting us. It was the perfect time to start a human bulbs community. But we decided to keep the membership limited to the 2 of us.

May 29, 2008

Another 2 A.M. story

Filed under: Jim and Me Conversations — Cris @ 22:04
Tags: ,

It seems the 2 AM miseries are becoming a daily thing for me. Maybe I should write a book on them. Today, contradictory to my previous entry, I had a bad vomiting sensation (V-S for future references) which broke out exactly when the clock gave out the 2 AM chimes. If this was a curse, I will have to change my opinion about curses. I always thought them harmless little pranks old witches played on princes and frogs.

“Not anymore they aren’t”, my fancy pal Mr Jim said, apparently walking in from the next room. I must’ve been loud about my curse-protests. I ignored him knowing he wanted me to ask why.

My V-S hung about for an hour. It had somehow a kind of intoxicated effect on me. Quite natural. I felt weak. My mind felt weak. And when we were both weak, me and my mind, we lost grip of things.

Troubles began when I, standing in front of the wash basin, all ready for action, moved my tongue around and got it stuck between my teeth. Problem with moving tongues are, they don’t know how to come out of places they go and get stuck at. I tried force. Ouch. I tried tactic. Double ouch. I screamed. But without the help of my tongue, my scream was as loud as a Jerry-mouse-squeal. Jim offered to play the role of Tom and strike my head with an axe – “shocks are good tongue-releasers Cris”. I said no thanks.

The pain was horrifying. I imagined the prospect of a whole life with a stuck tongue. It was not a good looking future. After a lot of struggle, I was free but I made the mistake of letting out a yelp of joy. It went “Bow Wow Wow Yippie Yo Yippie Yay”. I forgot I lost Jerry’s voice with the tongue loosened. Parents are always unpredictable. One would think they love to see their little ones have fun and do a joy-dance. It wasn’t my fault I had a dancing sensation at 2:15 AM.

Lot of explanations later, I was back in my room and my V-S was still working pretty strong. As mentioned above, it gave a heavy-head feeling. I wanted to sing. And when I sang I sounded like I still had my tongue stuck in my teeth. I chose Bryan Adams. “If you love a woman, zell her zat zees not a woman”

“That’s not how he sang it!”

“Shut up Zim”

“What’s with this Z-thing”

“Zim what was that noise”

“You”

“Zut up Zimbo. Zayer iz a zhief in the house. I am going to get him.”

“There is no thief”

I jumped up on my bed nearly missing the ceiling fan and sang aloud “Bad boys bad boys whatcha gonna do when I come for you”

“Hide is my guess”

“Nobody asked you Zimbo. I am going to make a zpeech”

“Cris go to sleep”. Somehow his line sounded affectionate. This was a touchy thing now.

“Zimbo”. I felt emotional. “Have I ever told you what you are Zimbo”. I sniffed.

“Sigh a lot of times and a lot of names”

“I will tell you what you are Zimbo. You are a goose boy. That’s what you are. A very goose boy”. This time I ejected out an ocean of tears.

I remember I felt very innovative for the next few minutes. I redecorated my room in what I thought was the perfect way. I should have stopped with mine. I also went and redecorated my living room. Mother, it seems preferred the mats on the floor under the table, and not the other way. And there was no appreciation for hiding the ugly looking sofas with my beautiful bed sheets. There is no place for aesthetic sense in this world anymore.

By morning my V-S was gone, my intoxication was gone and I called Jim, Jim. I did not like the happy look on his face when I called him an imbecile.

Life was becoming treacherous after midnight. Today I am going in at 23:59 sharp.

May 28, 2008

A 2 A.M. story

Filed under: Jim and Me Conversations — Cris @ 21:14
Tags: ,

The time was 2 AM. Everything was settled. The day’s duties were over.

“Ping”

“What was that?” I asked aloud.

My fancy pal Mr Jim emerged from under the bed and offered the answer. “That was a ping”

“Thanks Jim. Nice of you to drop in”

“Ouch”

“Oh no Cris. A ping and an ouch. That could only mean one thing.”

“I am hungry”

Well that was perfect. The clock ran for 24 hours and my intestine system chose 2 AM to run out of provision.

“Jim what do I do?”

“Ehhhhh….. mmmmm….. uhhhhhh”

“Of course! That’s it!”

“Err”

“When you are hungry, you eat. Simple”

“Oh yeah just what I thought”

“Only problem is I should go find food and not wake up my Mom”

We started tiptoeing. Jim offered the Pink Panther song in the background. It went “Paing pa paing pa paing pa paing pa paing… papapapaaaa papapa”

[audio:pink-panther.mp3]

I continued tiptoeing gracefully but my purpose was lost when my clothes made a lot of noise in the act.

And finally we reached our dream destination. The kitchen door. There was only one problem now.

“Jim I can’t open it”. It occurred to me we might find unexpected company inside. And I didn’t like finding unexpected company inside dark rooms.

Jim made a quick movement and tried to hide behind me. “You g-go ahead Cris. Nothing to worry about”

“Gulp”, said I.

“Gulp gulp”, said Jim.

I touched the handle, slowly turned it and before I opened I leaped 2 steps backwards, had my boxing stance all ready for action in case of an emergency. I checked my vocals and they were all tuned fine for a 120 dB screech. Jim and I put our bodies behind and made quick movements with the heads. Left, no thief, right, no monster. Whew….

We found the lights and bingo it was a total no-thief-no-monster zone.

The next step was finding food. We found them inside the refrigerator. All steps brilliantly calculated by a master mind. Mine.
Ice frozen food did not taste good I discovered. The oven of course.

Oven specific vessels were hard to find. Jim went up the shelves, I went down them. Together we found one huge black one and felt proud about it. I dropped the food into it and took it to the oven. That’s when the vessel exposed its flaws. It had an unwanted handle that wouldn’t fit into the oven.

“Oh-oh” said I

“Oh-oh” said Jim.

Back to gloom and despair. We weren’t the giving up kind; especially when there was a growling stomach in the premises uttering a second round of ping and ouch.

Some more sufferings and we had a plate full of lovely food ready. There was only one problem now. I wasn’t hungry anymore. Probably all the hard hard hard (emphasizing hard in case it went unnoticed) work.

I don’t know how it happened. But in a few minutes with food in my right hand and water in my left I dropped down on the dining table and fell asleep.

“Clashhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”

I woke up. There were a lot of dishes lying on the floor and in the middle of it was my Father. Instinct told me this was an occasion to loosen up and I always listened to instinct. I laughed a little. I laughed a little more. I laughed a lot. All on instinct.

The little, the little more and the lot was a mistake. I should have kept the loosening-up for a future date. Incidentally those dishes were placed in a place-not-to-be by me when I was searching for oven-dishes. It seemed an insignificant point at the moment to be talking about. So I forgot to mention that little detail. I would have continued forgetting it if it weren’t for my Mother who seemed to think that a daughter sleeping on a dining table at 6 AM with food and water was an unusual scenario. Mother, she always thought these strange things. I for one would have no objection to a dining table napper, I might have passed him and said “Howdy ho” and went on to mind my own business. Mothers however never did that, I chanced to learn.

Due to technical reasons, the author would refrain from talking about the next few hours of the day. The author’s friend Mr Jim, it might be mentioned here, slept on the opposite chair through all this. After the critical hours were over, when Mr Jim rose up and said “Ehhhhhh….mmmmm……uhhhhh”, the author threw him to cloud 9999.

Moral of the story: Next time I get a 2 AM ping and a 2:01 AM ouch, I am going to pull my covers over me and start counting sheep.

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