Story of a lost journalist

January 17, 2010

Being yourself

Filed under: life,My Musing Moments — Cris @ 00:19

A couple of lines that makes me ponder.
Line 1 (from a movie): “I behave the same way at home as I am outside. I speak out all that comes to my mind. I don’t know how to act.”
And I wish I was like that.
Line 2 (from a friend): “You are different in real life than you seem to be in your blog”

And I wonder. Well everybody obviously speaks out what they really think in their blog. That’s the whole purpose of a blog or you don’t have to write at all. So then line 2 establishes that I do not follow line 1. And I think that maybe true. It is for certain when the ‘outside’ means fresh faces and acquaintances. But in a company of intimates and a comfortable zone, I never feel the stress that one feels when one has to follow norms of how to behave or talk. The stress comes with artificiality or the unconscious attempt of trying to appear what is expected of you.

Woah head spins from pondering. But lets see. I hate going to marriages, for social gatherings, most another-house (meaning any house except mine) visits. And my family has long ago written me off as an anti-social, err an introvert. I don’t know how but some people seem to have a gift to behave absolutely wonderfully like they really enjoy it all – whether they really do or not would be hard to guess.

It could be a little hard when your face betrays you and exposes you to the whole world. Traitor face. Always chooses the wrong time to droop just in time for all to spot! But most of the time I stay away from places or people I know “I will have to put an act” with. I just avoid it completely cause the whole prospect of artificiality is a huge pain in the neck. I don’t know why people ever bother to be anything they are not. And if I have got to be in there, I go helplessly tongue-tied and I let myself be so cause that’s the most natural thing to do! And I am at my best when I am natural. Try anything else and it’s a huge huge flop!

That said, even if I behave the same I feel, I don’t like to speak my thoughts all the time. I am sort of possessive about them and the only time I like to take it out lavishly is when I am alone with them or when I write. So now comes the third question (not sure of the number, I haven’t counted). Does not-speaking-all mean you are not being yourself cause you may not in fact want to speak all you think. Some thoughts are not for the world to hear, it is just for you to think of.

So being yourself means talking what you want as opposed to talking all you feel?

Ah I have done it again. I have confused myself. I preach always that you should be yourself 24 * 7. Now I have to start a research on what being yourself means.



  1. Girl,
    I’m truly happy that of late, you have chosen to be ‘you’ than being the canned laughter sitcom you purport to be and thrive on !
    some1 who met you in person said you are soft spoken!
    your unnithaan post, the way you came out so strongly, albeit without losing the cutie pie, dumb Cris entirely, is the best post from you so far! the amount of comments that post attracted (and still growing) itself will bear testimony for the fact that you are 1 serious thinker capable of stirring the hornest’s nest without appearing to be provocative!
    that itself says who you are !
    who you are not !
    being you is only for you to know
    and others to speculate on!
    being you helps you to laugh youe head off,
    when ‘pundits’ of character analysis define you in their definite terms!
    know thyself Cris… and

    Comment by muralee maadhav — January 18, 2010 @ 00:47 | Reply

    • @muralee, I am ‘me’ even as I become the “canned laughter sitcom”. Thats not something I try to be. My writing is never a pretence, it is always what I feel. It doesnt matter if it doesnt make people laugh, I am happy writing it :-).

      Comment by Cris — January 19, 2010 @ 19:08 | Reply

      • hi girl,
        of course Cris,
        you are you when you stick your tongue out ‘n make faces at trains,
        and when you innocently wonder about unnithaan’s personal freedom !
        in fact i started reading you regularly, when i realized that your innate sense of humour is a ready remedy for my stressful life style ! you make delectable reading. always !’n i know you are you Always!
        have a beautiful day girl.

        Comment by muralee maadhav — January 21, 2010 @ 12:58

  2. :(( if it was me, i dint mean to say that yu are different! grrr… all i meant is i feel all close to yu when i read yur blog, but we havent been able to “connect” with yu much otherwise… thats because we don’t talk much n all! phew…..!! cris… luv yu loads… tc

    Comment by Akshaya — January 18, 2010 @ 17:24 | Reply

    • @Akshaya: Sheesh it was not a post lamenting what you told. On the other hand, it was about the reflections that came afterwards. Dont be apologetic!

      Comment by Cris — January 19, 2010 @ 19:10 | Reply

  3. u wrote something n conveniently deleted it.. huh? 😛 I came here to give u full suport 😉

    Comment by Dhanya — January 18, 2010 @ 22:47 | Reply

    • @Dan: ahem yes! :D. I felt the post was a little too personal 🙂

      Comment by Cris — January 19, 2010 @ 19:11 | Reply

  4. hmm.. deep!
    well I have a knee jerk reaction to character critics, and that is to click the Ignore button.

    people make their own lil assumptions about us from whatever they see or know of us. and they get confused when they see another side of us, and start speculating that one of these must b fake. but our personalities are all multi-layered, it’s not all that easy to simplify and categorise people.

    It wont be fair to you if someone from your salsa dance class bumps into you at a library and tells you..”but.. i thought you only dance all the time! you read books too? this is soooo not you!” 😀

    Comment by usha — January 19, 2010 @ 12:44 | Reply

    • @usha: lol – reading the dance-books joke :D. Actually I would hate being misunderstood too, but yea it’s better to keep that ignore button ready. In this case however my friend wasnt criticising, she just put me in retrospective mode.

      Comment by Cris — January 19, 2010 @ 21:34 | Reply

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