Story of a lost journalist

March 2, 2010

Marriage thoughts

Filed under: love,My Musing Moments — Cris @ 00:00
Tags: , , ,

My marriage thoughts… again.

I don’t believe in marriage because I don’t believe that relationships always last. Love is good at first, when you (think you) are just falling into it. That’s the time when you think this is it and you want to be with each other forever and ever. But soon, things change, the person you are with changes, the love itself changes and the relationship starts cracking. I like to see it as a closed space that starts sending tremors. Most people pretend not to see the cracks and hold on to the last few things in the closed space until they are blown away in the end.

I am tired of hearing clichéd terms like “adjustments”. I am not an adjusting person, period. If you adjust, you should be happy about doing it (I know – “if you really love someone, then you would be happy about doing it for them” – Blah!). If not, each adjustment, or each time you give up on things, it only adds to your frustrations. All of it finally reaches the neck bottom and boom – it explodes. And that’s it.

I will agree there are a lot of good feelings in it. If you could enjoy a relationship like you do an ice-cream and then forget about it, it’s fine. But it is not a temporary stop you could leave. It is going to be painful. And if I know it is going to be painful, then why would I go into it? I am so happy without it.

This is not because I saw or experienced a few relationships fail or base my thoughts on my limited experiences. It is something I have observed about the whole world. And I just don’t believe relationships last. Ignore the outer marks of commitment and go in and you will find it is more than often a just-for-sake deal to keep the family together. No love. If no love, then why marriage?

Its been proved that you cant always keep both ambition and marriage together. Look at Sudha Murthy. She may not have had a problem keeping aside ambition for marriage. I just meant you have to agree that choosing marriage may very well kick out the other big dreams from your life. Many people would say they don’t mind and their first priority is ‘the family’. Agreed. So for those who do mind, marriage is not a good option. Cause they may want to pursue other dreams as well, so they better not get married. Unless they keep marriage aside for a while but that becomes a taboo. So marriage is a choice. It depends on what you want more. Would have been a happy world if you could remain married and still do all things you wanted all at the same time. That aint practical, that aint happening; so forget preaching idealistic theories that don’t work.

I am ready to change my mind about relationships lasting. I am yet to see a real one that does. But I am sticking to my stand that marriage is always a choice, and not a compulsory stage in life!

As for me, I just like to live uncontrolled, be lazy, roam and not worry about keeping an account of where I go and what I do each second of my life – no plans, no preparations. Just wake up and live each day as it comes, as you feel like. Not a pathetic wanna-be-free talk, just a simple fact people somehow seem to shudder at and despise when they hear.


October 7, 2008

The no-love tag :-p

Filed under: tag — Cris @ 23:39
Tags: ,

Been a little inactive. Lot of blogs to catch up, replies to comments always delayed by 2 or 3 days. Must be what Dhanya calls the blogger’s block. Taking up Hari’s tag, to come out of indolence

RULE #1 People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

RULE #2 Tag 6 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by continue this game by sending it to other people.

1. If your lover betrayed you what would your reaction be?

Not sure but with the present absolutely nonchalant attitude w.r.t. love and romance, I might say “Oh alright see you around then and good luck with the new girl”

2. What’s it that you see in an ideal partner?


3. What, according to you, is the perfect date?

Walk-date. Meaning walk all the while, chewing some ground nuts, stopping at a thattu kada for coffee/dosha.

4. Would you like to have children soon enough? Or would you wait till your mid-thirties for the first child?

Replacing question: Do you like children?

Yup love them. Absolutely love them.

5. Will you fall in love with your best friend?

I always say it’d work out great if that really happened. But then not sure what would really happen – if they can still remain best friends as well, great. Oh this is about me- so I’d rather not risk it. I like having my best friends as my best friends, don’t want to lose them at the cost of a possible bad relationship.

6. Which is more blessed: loving someone or being loved by someone?

More blessed – being loved was what I’d have thought some time back. But finding self incapable of any such feelings, being able to love someone genuinely, would be a major blessing.

7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you love?

None if it is the partner we are talking about. I might be doing this tag at a wrong time, I seem completely insensitive. Old age I guess.
Now if its about my little nephew, I am waiting every single second to see him again.

8. If the person you secretly like is attached, what will you do?

Oh darn my luck – if I actually find myself capable of loving someone, which in itself is a rarity, and then I should find that the loser has found someone else – Well I will be dashed!

9. If you could root for one social cause, what would it be?

Promote adoption

10. Do you lie?

Ah finally one place I can score, I have a reputation for not lying even for trivial causes. Not that I am too proud of it, had more often landed me in trouble. Honesty is troublesome.

11. Where do you see yourself 10 years from now?

Hopeful me – famous author of 3 books
Pessimistic me – unemployed gulp

12. What’s your fear?

If the plans I have made for myself right now may not work out and it is not just about authoring books and finding employment.

13. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?

A thinking and quite a nice little kid

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married and poor?

Single and rich (Single was the attraction there, not what came with it, hmph!)

15. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously who will you pick?

Haha me in love with 2? That’s like asking Akshay Kumar if he could quit marrying. If I do, I must be a really dumb person! Wont pick both cause chances are I will regret not choosing other for rest of life!

16. Would you give all in a relationship?

Yes I think I will. And give all doesn’t imply give in or give up.

17. Would you forgive and forget someone no matter how horrible a thing he has done?

Might forgive, but know from experience will never forget

18. Do you prefer being single or in a relationship?


19. Your all time favourite song. Only ONE. And why?

This was the toughest. Ethetho from Punnagai Mannan – the first song I learnt to sing as far as I remember.


1. Jay – newest friend and blogger who wont let you comment
2. Philip – haven’t seen his entries for a little too long, and he is probably tagged already!
3. Amrutha – Now this is going to be a serious affair.
4. AJ – Hahaha I don’t think he will do this, but if he does, boy it should be fun!
5. Mathew – cant wait for his hilarious answers
6. TF – Author of Lucifer House Inc. Fresh after a series of bride hunts he should be well prepared for this

Avoided married friends, but anyone who likes to take this up, do and let know. Its fun to read this one.

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