Story of a lost journalist

January 13, 2014

Hey matchers, leave us odds alone

Filed under: Daily Rot — Cris @ 01:30

I have heard single people comment about how annoying they find it when friends try to set them up on dates. I never really understood why, because most of the time, I was that ‘annoying friend’. And when I wasn’t, I would happily go bug a friend and ask to fix me up, and be choosy and obstinate and not like anyone. Things were that simple, weren’t it?

Well, no. it is annoying. I had an acquaintance come and chat today. He started by asking if I knew single girls for a friend of his. I said I will pass the word around and let him know. Then he acted like he had a brainwave. “Hey, why not you?” Having been an expert matchmaker for a long time, I knew all the tactics in the book. I was hoping this line wouldn’t come. And had a tough time telling him off. Of course we matchmakers are pushy and don’t give up. So he kept selling his guy, a few of the praises falling on me. But all I could think of was how to run out of this conversation.

I give him a lot of tips. I tell him to leave single people alone unless they come asking you for help. This guy he was selling had made no such hint. Why do people take it into their heads that all the single ones in this world need their help and they have to fix them up? Work only on applications, people. Only when your help is sought.

It may be in the best of interests, but dear matchmakers, I have only one tip for you. Quit.

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2 Comments »

  1. true 🙂

    Comment by iamworthatry — January 18, 2014 @ 22:31 | Reply

  2. Interesting post. Have you read Mencken? This is what he once wrote: “Around every bachelor of more than thirty-five legends tend to congregate, chiefly about the causes of his celibacy. If it is not whispered that he is damaged goods, and hence debarred from marriage by a lofty concept of Service to the unborn, it is told under the breath that he was insanely in love at the age of twenty-six with a beautiful creature who jilted him for an insurance underwriter and so broke his heart beyond repair. Such tales are nearly always moonshine. The reason why the average bachelor of thirty-five remains a bachelor is really very simple. It is, in brief, that no ordinarily attractive and intelligent woman has ever made a serious and undivided effort to marry him.”

    Read Mencken. He is brilliant. A great prose stylist. I love this quote of his. But, then it is not quite true. Perhaps a 30 year old spinster wouldn’t mind, right? Bound together by a common method, and a common shame. 😀 Like the crippled heroine in the Glass Menagerie. As I said, Mencken is a brilliant prose stylist. You can take my words at face value because I do not hide my contempt when I see a man of 40 whose prose is pathetic.

    Comment by Picoman — June 23, 2014 @ 20:29 | Reply


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