Story of a lost journalist

August 8, 2011

Love Marriage = Arranged Marriage

Filed under: My Musing Moments — Cris @ 00:47

There really is no difference between love marriage and arranged marriage – in Kerala anyway. Now what was the line of thought that led me here? Let’s see. Hmm yea, yes… it is the absence of this concept called dating that makes it more or less the same.

You see in love marriage – as far as the Kerala version of it goes – what happens is this. Boy sees girl, boy likes girl, boy tells girl he loves her (not like) and so will she marry him? and girl, if she likes back, agrees. That’s the first step – proposal! Not very different from arranged marriage, where boy, with a bunch of relatives sees girl, agrees to marry if he likes her.

Both begin from marriage! When marriage should in fact be the final step, after you are sure you’d stand it all together. I don’t know who brought this way of things into being, and called it “love”. It is no love! If you like someone, you try to spend more time with them, and then maybe fall in love. But people have just abandoned the ‘like’ stage of it. You may like ten people, but you don’t fall in love with all. And you cant really marry all ten of them. Can you?

Dating should come. In a big way. It is the only way to make sure love is love and not some childish infatuation that ends up in divorce on day 2. Sheesh! When will we grow up!



  1. u said it..a good thought and a real solution 🙂

    Comment by Manu — August 8, 2011 @ 00:54 | Reply

    • @Manu: hehe thank ye. Let’s hope it works!

      Comment by Cris — August 30, 2011 @ 15:59 | Reply

  2. i have known people who have been “in a relationship” for half-a-decade before they decided to marry. u probably know some too. but, yeah, even there, maybe the “proposal” thing came before the “in a relationship” thing.

    Comment by Deepak — August 8, 2011 @ 07:39 | Reply

    • @Deepak: exactly! I am not advocating relationships before marriage here (I do, but not in this particular post). I am talking about getting to know a person beyond a face and a handshake before deciding you are in love with them!

      Comment by Cris — August 30, 2011 @ 15:59 | Reply

  3. Just a minor thought. In countries where most people date for years together, the divorce rates are much higher, I believe. Even after discounting the social taboo nature of divorces in India, I think still the rates are much more than in India. Anyway, happy to see u after a long break.

    Comment by Biju Kadeekkal — August 9, 2011 @ 21:12 | Reply

    • @Biju: of course the numbers would be higher elsewhere. Just as Indians are not ready to accept the concept of dating, they are also quite apprehensive about even a mention of divorce! I dont believe all the undivorced couples in our country are happy ones. But talking on this would need a separate blog post, and it maybe repetetive since I have voiced my take a few times earlier 🙂

      Comment by Cris — August 30, 2011 @ 15:57 | Reply

  4. I am sorry Cris, I don’t share your View here..

    The failure in love happens coz, being in love is mostly one sided, the one in the couple loves the other truely and the other is attracted to the way they are treated by the person in love and they mostly confuses what they feel for the other as love.

    Always when asked the question why Him or Why her? Then they starts saying Looks, eyes, hair,style, build or structure, Blah Blah many of them will say ‘coz I love or her Him/Her ‘

    Dating cannot reveal the real self of any person and make us decide do or don’t for marriage. it sometimes can even be the stage of drama where the characters are of angelic behaviour despite the truth being something else.

    How many of us share our difficulties with our loved ones? The first thought will be how she or he will take it. We share most of them with our family but much less with our Love. When the lovers opens up to each other, when theystart knowing each others soul(not literally, hope you understood what I meant) no love will ever fail.

    Comment by Javed Miandad — December 23, 2011 @ 19:20 | Reply

  5. i like love marriage

    Comment by Akhil.k — November 21, 2012 @ 10:03 | Reply

  6. My question is that,i want to know weather i will get love marriage or arrange marriage

    Comment by Biju kumar barla — June 21, 2013 @ 17:45 | Reply

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