Story of a lost journalist

October 20, 2008

I don’t like Gulmali!

Filed under: Daily Rot — Cris @ 23:57
Tags: , , ,

I am going to post about someone called Gulmali today. Obviously its not the real name. It’s a she and someone I know. Why I want to write about Gulmali is because I don’t like her company, some things about her irk me. Here are a few instances

 Instance 1

“Be there at 5 tomorrow will you?” orders Gulmali

“Alright” says I

“Be sure. Otherwise I will have to stand alone and wait”

“Ok I will be there”, says I

Sad that I cant be late like I usually am (sad cause an organized life always came hard for me), I drag myself to the said place 1 minute before 5. Gulmali is not there. She arrives 15 minutes later happily, cheerfully.

“You are late”, I say

“I know”, says Gulmali happily, cheerfully.

No explanation, no apologies, no nothing! She just goes on with whatever business we went there for!

Me: Irked!


Instance 2 – which is an oft repeated one

I am talking to someone, say hmm, Shweesha (imaginary name again)

Gulmali comes and shakes my hand “Come come its time to go”

I try to wave to point out something she obviously missed – I was talking to someone.

This goes unnoticed and now Gulmali starts pulling my hand hard enough for me to be pushed along. It might be noted here that Gulmali was 2.5 times heavier than me. So that didn’t exactly leave me in a position to strip her hold on me, or for that matter like I really wanted, to push her down, jump over her and laugh ‘buhahaha’.

Me: Irked again!


Instance 3

Gulmali talks, Gulmali talks more, Gulmali talks non-stopped.

My turn comes when Gulmali stops to breathe. I say “Oh yea there happened this thing the other day”

Gulmali looks away, yawns, and looks indifferent till I get the message and stop in less than 60 seconds. So my tales are usually scripted this way

“There happened this thing the other day. (Sees Gulmali’s bored expression). And I forgot what it was”

Gulmali never knows that I even opened my mouth. She carries on with her tale, a little annoyed by the interruption, all loud and enthusiastic. And the whole earth shakes with her when she emits one of her bulldozer chuckles.

Me: Irked multi million times more!


I do not like bossy people! I don’t like dominating people! I don’t like people who only talk and wont listen. I don’t like people who don’t give a darn about your time or space! I don’t like Gulmali!



  1. Hey Wally,

    Unless Gulmali is your boss or a close relative who’s hard to avoid, this situation is entirely your fault. Considering that she seems to be an absolute pain in the ass, you should avoid her completely. Problem solved.

    Comment by Nish — October 21, 2008 @ 01:17 | Reply

  2. “I don’t like people who only talk and wont listen”

    I thought most girls were like this.. No offense! But i felt that way..

    I agree with Nish! Its your choice.:)

    Comment by Srijith — October 21, 2008 @ 06:55 | Reply

  3. I know who Gulmali is, isnt she TweedlePinHickeryMolly !???

    Comment by Vishnu Kuttan — October 21, 2008 @ 09:22 | Reply

  4. Oro perukalum konde vannolum

    Comment by Vishnu Kuttan — October 21, 2008 @ 09:30 | Reply

  5. Totally agree with NIsh chetan…thats exactly what you need to do…

    Comment by Gov — October 21, 2008 @ 10:33 | Reply

  6. I know lots of Gulmaalis and Gulmaalans! And they all bug me to the point of irritation like you.

    Comment by Hari — October 21, 2008 @ 11:00 | Reply

  7. Er… I meant, like Gulmaali does to you! 😀 Forgive the fax pas. 😛

    Comment by Hari — October 21, 2008 @ 11:00 | Reply

  8. Hi dearie, Sorry , i’ve been busy lately-paper corrections, extra classes,hectic actually. Hmm, this is a case that is seen often. Me,personally,would give the Gulmaali a piece of my mind. i would be silent for the first few times, but after that….. I’ll say something akin to a whiplash-silent but deadly (Its not rude, but it ain’t pretty either.) Nobody has to endure this kinda humiliation, even if the golmaali is a close relative. But i draw the line at bosses. There u have to take a diffrent tactic. We can express our irk-ishness in a sugar-coated manner. Why are you friends with her in the first place? If u don’t wanna be brutal, Send some hints by way of body language(that is, ‘if’ the oaf can understand that) Look extremely bored, yawn, and look at your watch frequently when she talks. Let her know she’s not the boss of you.

    Comment by M.Rose — October 21, 2008 @ 14:17 | Reply

  9. Does Gulmal read your blog ? Maybe, she’ll get the drift…

    Comment by InWantOfBeingMe — October 21, 2008 @ 15:02 | Reply

  10. Gulmalis are all around the place ! And often times, will build a castle if you invite them to build a small hut !

    I quite like the previous comment. To have this blog link forwarded to Gulmali ! there are so many of us who could do it for you..! 😉

    Comment by Kavi — October 21, 2008 @ 21:53 | Reply

  11. @Nish, hmm shes not someone I can avoid easily. Well shes a pain but actually harmless.

    @Srijith, well I havent studied that from a gender point of view. But come to think of it many girls are that way! And yet some of my best listening friends are girls too! So no clue.

    @Vishnu Kuttan, hehehe next time I will come up with Boo Billy dont worry :p

    @Gov, hmm I guess. Alright Nishboy what’d you do! Why is everyone saying you are right?

    @Hari, hehe yes I got it. Just like Malayalis I guess Gulmalis exist in all parts of the world 😀

    @M.Rose, paper corrections? Just out of curiosity, are you a teacher? And yes its always good to let people know how you feel about them, especially when you dont like the way things are going. I am trying to figure out a way.

    @InWantOfBeingMe, well no she doesnt usually. Remember she doesnt like listening to other people, so I am guessing blogs are not her favorite timepass. And to come out clean, I wouldnt have posted it so transparently if I knew she reads this. Gulp!

    @Kavi, hehe, patience friend patience. Lets give her a be-nice-to-Cris operation. And see how she passes it.

    Comment by Cris — October 22, 2008 @ 00:04 | Reply

  12. Cris!
    Never expected this from you. 😦
    If you don’t like me say that.Yes, I am bossy, I am always late. But…but…you told the whole world that I am bad. Go Cris, go…Don’t talk to me!
    Bye. I will go to my world. You stay in your Cris’ world.

    Back to G’s world.
    Your no-longer-friend

    Comment by Gulmali — October 22, 2008 @ 01:17 | Reply

  13. “Avanavan kurukkunna kurukkazhichedukkumbam gulmaali..gulmaali
    parasparam kuzhikkunna kuzhikalil pathikkumbam gulmaali.. gulmaali”

    Comment by Salil — October 24, 2008 @ 10:26 | Reply

  14. @Gulmali, since the prankster has already confided in me, I cant play along! But making an attempt – didnt you hear the comments you wretched G, serves you right! Hmph!

    @Salil, hahaha! Now thats the perfect song for the occasion!

    Comment by Cris — October 24, 2008 @ 11:52 | Reply

  15. 🙂

    Well,is the commentator ‘gumali’ the real person you were talking about????

    Happens dear..Its easy for people to say “avoid her”..But i have found myself in such situation where i can neither listen to Gulmali,nor avoid her in fear of she getting hurt..i tend to show fake patience in first few sessions,then i will surely talk/point out even through a joke on how she is dominating or highjacking the whole session..For instance 2,you can/must say “Wait,let me finish talking to her..Pls wait or else you may leave”..Trust me,she will behave properly next time..For instance 3,my GD sessions and my inherent sweet freaky voice enables me to override her rant to amke my point heard..You ahve too soft voice dear..Practise yelling in front of mirror everyday so that you too will have a ‘kooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo’ sound like…

    Comment by Nimmy — October 24, 2008 @ 19:54 | Reply

  16. @Nimmy, hehehe thank you dear that was real sweet 🙂 And I am an admirer of your voice! You go kweeki kweeki kwee and the way you go Crissssssssssssssssss 🙂

    Comment by Cris — October 25, 2008 @ 21:57 | Reply

  17. I know some gulmalis in real life too.
    But then, trust me, dealing with them is the simplest!!
    you just avoid them, stop entertaining them, send them clear signals that you find them boring, and that you are not interested in their company at all..
    Gulmalis usually get this message very clearly. Really!
    If they dont, insult them!!!teehee… i know that sounds mean, but its a fun thing to do to gulmalis. Display mock interest like an exaggerated “oh really!!!??” or a bored “temme something new!”.. that shud do it, i guess!
    and do let us know how your gulmali combat worked!

    Comment by usha — October 27, 2008 @ 15:38 | Reply

  18. @usha, yes I am beginning my act. And I think the message is going across, will let you know the results. Hehe. And I like the idea of insulting — evil Cris!

    Comment by Cris — October 27, 2008 @ 17:04 | Reply

  19. lol!.. i liked the way u wrote this… hehe!!
    try being a gulmali to her .. lets see how she takes it!

    @vk : lol that name was funny!

    Comment by ros — October 30, 2008 @ 02:20 | Reply

  20. (Pulling your hand) come come, its time to go…

    Comment by Pradeep — October 30, 2008 @ 05:07 | Reply

  21. @ros, thats an idea now, only thing is I have got to gain 5 times my weight now, to be a gulmali to her!

    @Pradeep, hehehe!

    Comment by Cris — October 30, 2008 @ 12:04 | Reply

  22. hehehehe i can imagine u trying to pull someone who is 5 times heavier lol! as a result.. u are on the floor!

    Comment by ros — October 30, 2008 @ 22:26 | Reply

  23. @ros, you are such a good friend dear! What would I do without you?! PS: Translates to you are dead!

    Comment by Cris — November 1, 2008 @ 03:55 | Reply

  24. Reminds me spiderman3 dialogue,’ You have a choice’

    Comment by Al — November 2, 2008 @ 03:13 | Reply

  25. @Al, hmm yes, but I dont really have a choice to take that choice now!

    Comment by Cris — November 3, 2008 @ 20:32 | Reply

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