Story of a lost journalist

July 5, 2008

Same wavelength in friendship a must? Naaaa

Filed under: life,My Musing Moments,Theory — Cris @ 22:43
Tags: , ,

Another friendship question. The one before was on 2-sided intensity.This one on wavelength. Simple, one probably argued over the years. Do intellectuals only hang out with intellectuals, do simple minded creatures feel uncomfortable with complex creatures? Can Ms Cris hang out with someone as crude as her fancy pal Mr Jim? (“Hey I resent that!” says Jim. “Husshhhh I am on my blog! We have got to pretend be serious now!” says I)

So back to my serious question, for it is serious no doubt about that. I have got friends in all levels. The ones with the high IQs who go about emitting smokes and evaporating complex thoughts (one wonders how is smoke a possible chain reaction product of thoughts and complexity, an unexplained mystery!)
I have got friends who exhibit the same amount of natural bewilderment I do at things meant to be unimaginably simple, and devote themselves to the same or even more amount of blunderings every hour of the day.

Yup they are all there. But there is another factor called comfortableness. I define comfortableness as a quality that wouldn’t stop me from being completely and totally and indisputably me in the presence of the aforesaid tribe. (Jim gasps, “You call your friends tribe?? You must be arrested”. I said “I said hush Jim hush!”)

So considering my high IQ level… BEEP [Lie detected]
Aside: Dang, who turned it on now!!!
To the blog: Ok so as I was saying. If I am in the presence of a smoke-emitter, and I am not following one word of his vocabulary, then he belongs to the tribe if I am not bothered by that and I go on minding my own business. And of course he on his part should feel the same way. Then we are tribe-mates (Jim sneaks in at this point. Author having some aversion to the use of “Friends”. Hmm cause unknown, nature weird, conclusion : author is one of those incomprehensive mix of weirdness and dumbness. I come back and yell at Jim. “Jim erase that piece or you are dead!”)

So it is all about comfortableness. I can very well go on not understanding what a tribe-mate is saying, if I don’t feel a need to sweat and worry about not understanding it. And if I am interested enough, I can even stop the tribe-mate and interject a question in the lines of “Do you realize I have absolutely no clue what you are talking about?”
And the T-M will probably answer, “Yup I know that”

The moment I feel this whole need to run away from the smoke-emitter or even an under-rated (meaning under me in levels of intellectuality, yes there is a possibility that could happen against all odds!), the mate actually disqualifies to be in the tribe. Meaning I am not comfortable with the smoke-emissions, or the under-rated-ness. I feel most sick when I have to be careful of what I say and think out each word before I utter it to someone; those people definitely have no place in the Tribe. If I ever feel a need to match the wavelength of a T-M its time to kick him out of the T.

That’s my conclusion. I wonder if friends who get closer have some kind of unknown sensors working in the background to detect the matches and decide it’s a place you fit in well. No clue about that. And so long as I have all my TMs comfortably being in my T, I don’t have a problem. (“Sure Cris, sure. Now can we get unserious?” puts in Jim. “Alright, alright, that was too much pressure on me anyway. How do sullen people sit with sullen faces all day, I will never know” I say. “Talent Cris talent”, Jim says and I nod absent mindedly humming a song while he goes on to talk about… emm I didn’t really hear it so I don’t know. And we kept walking together till I don’t know when.)

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8 Comments »

  1. people become good friends usually when they get to a point that they have a good understanding of each other…..and most of the times it is the ppl on the same wavelength who get to it…anyways for me same wavelength or not; it feels good when friends understand and respect for wat we are! cheers!

    Comment by sajith — July 5, 2008 @ 22:59 | Reply

  2. Tough question. I would think it depends a lot on the personality of the person. Some people prefer emotional satisfaction more than intellectual while some prefer physical to the other two. A person who wants intellectual satisfaction will probably become friends with one who will give that. This does not mean that the other person have to be as intellectually capable as the first. He/She could just be somebody who is eager enough to ask and get whatever he/she needs to get from the former and the former needs to be somebody who enjoys sharing the information. To generalize, selection of friends is a purely selfish process where you become friends with people who satisfy some kind of interest/need/desire in you. i am not talking about this from a materialistic perspective but a purely psychological one. So the adage – opposite poles attract – does in fact make sense when it comes to friendship. But again this does not mean the people who are exactly alike in personalities won’t become friends with each other they could if they are complementary to themselves which is quite possible mathematically. A visual examples could be – Doordarshan logo.

    Comment by Anoop John — July 6, 2008 @ 01:43 | Reply

  3. I disagree,I feel there should be some thing which should sync up between each other.Ya he might be out of frequency when he talks out of box heavy thoughts.But there will be some thing else which sync up so nicely between them,may be not intellectual,but may be some thing else,may be the way each other understands.

    Comment by Gov — July 6, 2008 @ 11:27 | Reply

  4. My thoughts too are in line… Each person would have different traits in his/her personality, which reveals itself based on circumstances and stimuli. The varying amount of these traits is what really makes a person interesting, and ‘company’ matters a lot – for the average person, its the other person in company that decides what trait to exhibit most. Taking excerpts from my own life, when I’m with my philosopher friends, what we talk about mostly is just ‘smoke’ things… but, when I’m with one of my merry friends, not even a bit of philosophy comes out – it would be all about the simpler things of life, or even gossips!! 🙂 I share common things with each of these people, although one of my philosopher friends might not be able to get cool with one of my merry friends.

    Yup… and I totally agree with Anoop too – its the yin and yang thing that really clicks off… and each trait in our personality does its role there – and not just a single solid ‘character’.

    Comment by Arián Kenobi — July 6, 2008 @ 14:08 | Reply

  5. @sajith, gotcha! Understanding! Hmm will have to spend more thoughts on that.

    @Anoop John, looks like the word friendship comes with a set of defined rules. Hmm though it makes sense, I find it hard to accept what you say. Going by physical presence or capacity to listen/enjoy. I, the big dreamer, like to believe friendship is a more natural process that just happens sometimes for reasons unexplainable.

    @Gov, not sure if my thoughts are on the same line, but that was well-said 🙂 Cheers!

    @Arian Kenobi, what you say could help only if a person has in him so many different sides that he could share one each with so many different people. And yet it makes sense too, for I too cant talk the same things with everyone as with everyone else. But I still feel we are missing something. Hmm I should probably do another blog post as part 2!

    Comment by Cris — July 7, 2008 @ 11:24 | Reply

  6. well, I feel people manage to connect to each other at some point, where their wavelengths ARE in sync. And once that connection is made, they somehow manage to reach out to each other, even if they aren’t poeple of the same wavelength otherwise..

    well.. err.. i dunno.. I just had my lunch.. n darn..I’m feeling so sleepy.. and I just realised that I can sleeptalk too! ahem.. i mean sleeptype.. oh, ok.. whatever! 🙂
    i liked the post.

    Comment by usha — July 7, 2008 @ 13:57 | Reply

  7. This again is a topic that interests me! 🙂
    I feel that there is something that links us with our friends. Hmm I still don’t know if its wavelength or something else. Something is there for sure!

    Comment by rose — July 8, 2008 @ 02:02 | Reply

  8. @usha, yeah that kinda makes sense. I wonder how this connection happens. Hmm I seem to have caught the keep-on-asking-stupid-questions mania. Heck I was born with it!

    @rose, Ros Ros Ros of course everything I write interests you, I know you love my writing :p. And yes I guess there is some connection. Usha and you are both right. Just wish I could figure out what!

    Comment by Cris — July 8, 2008 @ 23:22 | Reply


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