Story of a lost journalist

June 25, 2008

No girls and boys, only humans!

Filed under: Fiction — Cris @ 23:27
Tags: ,

Tony and Liz were going through Tony’s emails. Tony dropped in on his way to the dentist’s at Liz’s, whom he always considered a good friend he lost to the lunatic world. She was now drinking lime juice her mother brought them and reading his emails happily. She didn’t think of any need to look elsewhere or pretend she wasn’t interested like other girls he knew. And funnily, Tony didn’t mind her reading them. It would be as safe with her as it would be with thin air. Cause Liz never thought about them again. Telling her something was as good as not telling her something!

He reached an email that was sent to a males-only group.
“Oh! Liz quick! Close your eyes”
Of course this only made her widen her eyes and look more interested. Tony closed the window and laughed. “Sorry dear that’s not for little girls to read”

“Hey I am as old as you! I can read anything you can”

“It’s not for girls Liz girl”

That was one thing that always made Liz angry.
“There is nothing that is not for girls!!!”

Tony smiled. They have had this conversation before.

Liz realized he would make it hard for her now. But she couldn’t give up now.

“So you want to see that email?”

“Yes I do”

“No matter how gross the contents are”

“I don’t care”

“You don’t mind reading really bad words?”

Liz gulped but held her stand. “No I don’t”

“Ok but we will have a deal then. If I show you these words, you will have to use them. When I ask you to”

This time Liz took longer to reply. “Alright” she said meekly.
Tony opened the email and he was amused to see Liz trying to keep a straight face and look nonchalant.

Tony whistled. “Ok Madam, grab your shoes. We are going out.”
Liz had now lost all her cool but she went along. Stopping outside a small hotel to get Dosha, he said calmly, “Your turn”.
Liz wasn’t expecting it there. She gulped and said one bad word softly and slowly, taking 15 seconds to finish it. “Ha that was so slow you wouldn’t know what the word is!”
This was a challenge. She felt the whole female population depended on her to win the battle now. She closed her eyes tight, covered her ears with her hands and with all the effort she could gather, gave out the bad words she read in quick succession.

Tony didn’t expect this and with her ears covered, Liz was louder than usual. A few people turned to look at them now. Tony took Liz’s hands and walked away as fast as he could. Liz, open eyed was puzzled to see all the eyes on her and went with Tony silently. The shop keeper was also equally puzzled and didn’t call after them.

“That was so stupid!” Tony yelled as soon as they were a safe distance away.


“There could have been people who knew one or both of us!”

“I am sorry! But it was your idea!”

“I didn’t ask you to shout!”
Tony, though boiling with anger, was amused by the whole episode and couldn’t do a good job hiding it.

After a little while, Liz said gathering all her courage “Well that proves what I said before. There is nothing that’s not for girls”

Tony lost the last bit of solemnity and burst out laughing.
“Alright Liz-boy! You are as much boy as I am. But don’t you ever dare say the other way”

Liz’s huge eyes now brightened. “Of course that’s it! It is your turn now!”

“What for?”

“To prove you could do whatever I could!”

“Ho ho wait! That’s your side of the bargain! I never said anything about it”

“Yeah but I have to prove the other side too. Now that it’s clear there is nothing manly, I have to prove there is nothing womanly either”

“I don’t think I like where you are going”

“It is simple. What is considered a womanly thing?”

“That’s easy! Gossip!”

“Exactly! Now I am going to tell you something about someone”

“Ha that’s easy. You think I will go around telling it? Liz, guys got better things to do!”

And sure enough Liz told Tony something that left his mouth open for a long time.
“You just made that up!”

“Nope you really did fail in Math this sem”, Liz said happily knowing he can’t resist not talking about it.

“How the hell did you know?”

“Oh from gossiping”

“Well I don’t believe it”

“Okie Dokie”

“And no I won’t let you win. I won’t ask anyone about it”

He kept his word for 29 minutes. Then he got out of the house and sure enough, he called up everyone he knew to know his fate about Math.
And sure enough, the word got around and after several layers of gossiping the message came back to Liz. She called Tony up in an hour “That was fast”, she said between laughing.

“Ok so I had to talk. But this is no gossip! Its my paper for heaven’s sake!”

After minutes of laughing, Liz let it out that she invented his paper’s fate when he was at her house.

“Argh!!! I have a good mind to give out all those words you yelled out today! If I really fail in Math, you are dead, girl!”

“What did you call me?”

Tony laughed and said “Girl? What girl? There is no such thing as a girl.”

“No boys either”

“Of course not. Never heard of them”

“Only humans”

“Only humans”

Finally Liz and Tony had an agreement. Tony would never say about manly and womanly things and Liz would never ever ask to read any of his emails!


  1. Hi!
    Cool Blog you’ve got there!!

    Comment by Adi — June 26, 2008 @ 13:57 | Reply

  2. I mentioned your blog in mine!! 😀

    Comment by Adi — June 26, 2008 @ 14:24 | Reply

  3. @Adi, Thanks pal! And thank you again! That means a lot to me kiddo 🙂

    Comment by Cris — June 26, 2008 @ 14:37 | Reply

  4. Hey..thanks. You’re doin a good job yourself. I especially like the blog review idea. Keep goin at full speed!

    Comment by Bimal — June 26, 2008 @ 17:37 | Reply

  5. Nice idea! cool 😉

    Comment by sajith — June 26, 2008 @ 20:40 | Reply

  6. @Bimal, thanks 🙂 I will try!
    @sajith, hehe I knew you’d approve 🙂

    Comment by Cris — June 27, 2008 @ 10:36 | Reply

  7. @Cris… :):):)

    Comment by sajith — June 27, 2008 @ 23:06 | Reply

  8. A nice subject, women & men / Girls & Boys, always a thing good enough to be discussed. But is Bad words really a Man or Boy thing! Dont know to say, as I have never tried to learn or Use any bad Word, And I dont think Gossip is a womanly thing eaither. These both depends solely on the person, their character.

    Comment by Javed Miandad — February 25, 2012 @ 01:03 | Reply

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