Story of a lost journalist

June 1, 2008

The fall

Filed under: Fiction — Cris @ 11:27
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It is amazing how some people were born to be liars. I was standing before one on the fatal night of “The Fall”. This one, in a smaller size, aged 10 was looking bored and yawning while I took the role of the questioner.

“Didn’t you go?”

“Nope”, said the LL (read Little Liar)

“But you weren’t here”

“I was”. This LL was good with his LL-ing!

“What’s that on your left hand?” I pointed at the crumbled paper he held in his left hand.

“Nothin’”

“Of course not! There’s a paper!”

“Nope”

Lesson 121 about LLs – they use mostly monosyllables, particularly the N-word.

“Oh yeah wait till a senior authority takes a look at it. Your big bro for one” I smirked. I got him this time. His bored expression changed into a raised brow. “Maybe this lady out here was not a totally empty headed one”, he must be thinking. I thought “hah”.

While he continued his brow raised expression, I looked up at the pent house to utter the big-bro’s name. The LL looked at me, turned and one second later was running at the speed of a marathon breaking LL.

Since this act was totally unexpected, it took me 3 seconds and a half to react. I had only one course of action left to do to save my pride – Follow that LL. I followed that LL. I made the same mistake several movie characters, especially Mallu movie policemen made while chasing thieves. I said “Stop you LL”. This instead of stopping the LL has in fact increased his momentum by 1.5 times. As if that wasn’t enough, he did something horrible. He took a bicycle which was until a moment ago, a harmless little static-roller having a little chat with its other bicycle friends at the stand. Probably in the lines of “My owner is a nitwit, how about yours”. All LLs happened to be very good bicycle riders; all LL-chasers happened to be very bad bicycle riders.

I stopped at the bicycle stand. Harmless little creatures though they appeared to be had this horrid habit of shaking people off them. I, who needed 10 howls and 50 help-yells to ride a ladies cycle for 10 minutes, which despite designed for shorter people failed to bring my legs to ground on time, eyed the tall gigantic looking men’s bicycles with a touch of horror. All this, fast as I was, done in a few seconds, I was atop one of the less-mean looking 2-wheelers and chasing my old LL.

The roads were not on my side. They formed one downhill after another and I yelled one loud scream after another. It went “yiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii yooooooooooooooooooo owwwwwwwwwwwwww”. I reached my goal many times without any outside help. I crossed my LL, he being an expert breaks-user using it here and there to slow down while I, forgetting their existence passed him with record-breaking speed. For the first time, his bored expression broke into a smirk on seeing me. He looked like a kid who saw a circus clown on his way to Boresville.

Like most Mallu movies where the chasing policeman ended up in a river, I had my little pond awaiting me in the middle of the road. This was not part of a beautiful river that was stranded in the city roads. This was formed by nature when it decided to throw a lot of rain on the cycle-riders road and make nasty little dirty ponds.

And like most nasty little dirty ponds, it had one single purpose. It covered a nasty little gutter-hole. My cycle, with its brilliant cycling experiences of the past, knew to deal with them gutter-holes. “Aha hiding behind that pond are you?” it probably said to the hole before landing front tire first into the hole with all its might. I had for a split second one of my favorite dreams coming true. I flew. Just as the back tire took a little leap, my body decided to follow its act and took a higher leap into the air. But my body also decided to come down back to the earth. They missed each other at these flying situations, my body and earth did.

cycle.png

(click for larger image)

The head pitched first in front of the pond and was soon joined by the rest of the body. My first act was to check if all body parts were still connected. Of course I had no hope for my bones and ligaments. But as it was, all the visibly existing parts were still visibly existing. So much for the fall and the LL chasing.

But my LL was a kind hearted LL. He saw me sitting by the pond and after spending 2 minutes and 46 seconds in what he calls endless-mirth, he came to my help. However he first chose to help my traitor-friend. The bicycle. “It is Robee’s hehe! He should see this”. I somehow didn’t feel like worrying about Robee seeing this. That was when I remembered it was time for my first spasm of pain. I did not keep it a secret. “Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”

The LL brought BLs (Big Liars read grown ups) to the spot. Some BLs while helping me decided to make enquiries. Though they found some of the endless-mirth the LL was so fond of, they were more curious. “Why did you want to ride the cycle to a gutter?”

“It was in my wish list” was all I managed to say. They seemed to be satisfied. “Course if it was in her wish list she had to do it”. I didn’t tell LL’s brother about his LL-ing or the initial purpose of my big trip. These days when I see an LL, I wink, wave and leave them alone and proceed to mind my own business. I did the same with bicycles, from a distance.

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11 Comments »

  1. nice.

    Comment by manu — June 1, 2008 @ 18:42 | Reply

  2. What is “The Fall” you mentioned in the post.

    Comment by Minking Than — June 1, 2008 @ 20:21 | Reply

  3. @manu, Thanks 🙂
    @Minkinking Than, Err the fall from the cycle. I thought it was obvious 😦

    Comment by Cris — June 1, 2008 @ 20:27 | Reply

  4. oops :-). Now that you have pointed it out – it looks obvious. I was thinking in the lines of “The Fall” as in the “fall of man” etc

    Comment by Minking Than — June 1, 2008 @ 20:32 | Reply

  5. reaaallllllly happened?????…dont tell me you did that!!!!

    Comment by justajester — June 1, 2008 @ 21:48 | Reply

  6. wow, finally an action thriller!

    Comment by nithin — June 1, 2008 @ 23:44 | Reply

  7. I think this post has to be moved to “life” category..It doesnt sounds like a “fiction”….I strongly doubt the ‘Fall-er’ is you! 😀

    Comment by Srijith — June 2, 2008 @ 09:26 | Reply

  8. @justajester it is categorized under fiction – not real life, although I do share a few traits with the central character-like our bicycle riding skills for one 😀
    @nithin, Lol its like one of those Steve Martin detective movies
    @Srijith, 2 words for you – How rude!

    Comment by Cris — June 2, 2008 @ 11:13 | Reply

  9. Have to agree with Srijith on this one! I too feel a striking resemblance to truth rather than to fiction! [:D]

    Comment by Sajith — June 2, 2008 @ 19:17 | Reply

  10. Crissie sis.. Really the thoughts of this character is similar to the thoughts of ‘you’ as u described in posts under “life” 😉 Weird-thinking-creatures!! 😀

    Comment by Srijith — June 2, 2008 @ 19:42 | Reply

  11. Hmmm maybe I should not make my narrators so angelic. People will keep confusing them for me 😀

    Comment by Cris — June 9, 2008 @ 22:00 | Reply


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